http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/edlite-FAPE504.html
How Is an Appropriate Education Defined?
An appropriate education will include:
<2nd bullet>
•the education of each student with a disability with nondisabled students, to the maximum extent appropriate to the needs of the student with a disability;
The problem is that the school wants to be the sole source of definition for the word "appropriate" -- and it always is predetermined by all of the school-side members at the meeting . . . so there is a no-win situation unless the parents bring massive numbers of people to the meeting so to OUTNUMBER the school staff.
There is a word for this, possibly:
collusion.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collusion
Collusion is an agreement between two or more persons, sometimes illegal and therefore secretive, to limit open competition by deceiving, misleading, or defrauding others of their legal rights, or to obtain an objective forbidden by law typically by defrauding or gaining an unfair advantage.[citation needed] It is an agreement among firms to divide the market, set prices, or limit production.[1] It can involve "wage fixing, kickbacks, or misrepresenting the independence of the relationship between the colluding parties".[2] In legal terms, all acts affected by collusion are considered void.[3]
That's where you have to play devil's advocate and reply with, "does removing the student from school on certain days they want to use food, help w/student's ability to access education?" "Does taking him/her out of the classroom provide inclusion?" "Does having the allergen in the class offer an environment conducive to learning/climate for success or would it make for a mentally stressful situation for the student" if not then it is not appropriate.
Remember, appropriate education is defined as:
An appropriate education will include:
education services designed to meet the individual education needs of students with disabilities as adequately as the needs of nondisabled students are met;
the education of each student with a disability with nondisabled students, to the maximum extent appropriate to the needs of the student with a disability;
evaluation and placement procedures established to guard against misclassification or inappropriate placement of students, and a periodic reevaluation of students who have been provided special education or related services; and
establishment of due process procedures that enable parents and guardians to:
receive required notices;
review their child’s records; and
challenge identification, evaluation and placement decisions.
http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/edlite-FAPE504.html