Hi, Everyone,
Thanks for all of your input! Lots to think about, for sure!! This is a VERY small school (K-8 is 100 students), and there are only 14 kids in her class. Lunch is a total of less than 50 kids (there are two periods) with 3 teachers and an aide presiding (at minimum). The teacher is especially aware of my daughter's allergy, which is what makes this so perplexing. I can understand and appreciate her not wanting to separate the two, but I am surprised that she would not come to me first to ask how I felt about it. She is the one, I assume, that would enforce, although, again, small school with very few allergies so I know that all of the teachers are aware and watching out for her.
I agree ... this has probably happened more times than I care to ponder at the moment. However, the bottom line is we haven't had any reactions (knock wood), and I am striving for the least possible accommodations given our reaction history.
Before this, I would have said that my daughter is VERY cautious and not prone to risk taking, especially given her ana rx 6 months ago (complete with epi and ER). She has been extremely cautious since then, and I have seen her on many different occasions refuse food (if she wasn't sure I had checked the labels) in a very responsible way, not wanting her classmates to "see her go through that."
The kids do wash their hands after lunch, and I know that this girl is responsible and would not put my daughter in harm's way. The epis are less than 50 feet away (as I said, very small school), and I know, given past experience, that my daughter would tell her teacher if she weren't feeling right (immediately following her reaction last spring there were several instances where she was being paranoid, understandably so, and told the teacher she wasn't feeling well, even though there were no symptoms).
SO ... I like the idea spying on her, and I plan to do this soon. The school has a very open door policy and parents are encouraged to eat lunch with their kiddos, so it would not look out of the ordinary for me to be there (and my daughter is still at the age where she would love it!)
Eragon ... you are so right about who is sitting next to her. I feel weird backpedaling now, saying it is OK for her to sit next to someone consuming her allergens because it DOES depend on the person. I trust her friend ... she cares about my daughter, is one of the oldest in the class and also one of the most mature ... but there are lots of kids that I wouldn't feel the same way about if they were sitting next to her, so it is going to be hard to say anything to the school one way or the other. Also you provided great questions for a much needed discussion with my daughter ... thanks.
Macabre ... Field trips haven't been a problem to date, and they actually take quite a few. I am the class mom and often accompany her, and there haven't been any that have required transport yet (the school is actually located downtown, so most of the field trips to date have been within walking distance). I know that will change, but I trust the school to do whatever I need them to do (including allowing me to attend any and all trips), so I am not too concerned at this point (but we shall see).