twinturbo, I know we're heading off topic with this, but wanna say as to "when did this tradition start" --
some of us have discussed in the past and it has to be a 70s thing. Most of us recalled little-to-none of that "it's my birthday and I'll cupcake if I want to" crap when we were in elementary school in the 1960s and early 1970s.
However, it may vary by region in the USA.
In Nevada, there was next-to-none of that crap for birthdays: we went to each other's bday parties AFTER school or on weekends. Formal, written invitations were received, RSVPd, and the simple, appropriate party enjoyed OFF SCHOOL TIME. Closest friends were invited (ONLY), children arrived on time and left on time, there might have been a single party favor (not a loot bag). Thank yous were handwritten and sent promptly.
If it all sounds a bit "Leave it to Beaver"ish, well
IT WAS.
And it was appropriate, right-sized and NOT AT SCHOOL.
Whew.
Clearly I'm a bit passionate about this topic.