YES!
That is the one.
The one, really.
While "disservice" is one that opened my eyes intellectually... and strategically...
"Treats" is the one that opened my heart and soul.
BIG shout-out to Ark, Nutternomore, lilpig and Notnutty (as well as gvmom and saknjmom) in that thread, in addition to those I mentioned before.
In some ways, it's a bit depressing to read my own posts some 8 years on, and realize that some things have not changed for my DD. It's like holding back the sea.
Any break in your resolve and the dike begins to crumble.
I think it is high time for ME to stop soothing my child with platitudes that she knows are nothing but sugar-coated lies. It isn't right, and nothing I can say about people's intentions will make it so for her. She knows that most adults don't care whether she lives or dies. How many other sunny 8 yo kids really KNOW that about the world they live in? This isn't about shielding her from reality. That is her reality. I'd just like to prevent her being tortured by that sort on a regular basis.
I can't make my daughter's allergies that unobtrusive in her life and ours. She'd love to be able to eat in a restaurant, or even just not wear a medicalert bracelet and carry around a bag full of thermally-sensitive medications. She'd love to get on an airplane and travel the world. It isn't going to happen for her.
Nobody is saying that our kids (or anyone else) should have a fully 'level' playing field of life. Nobody ever does-- but we are all entitled to human dignity.
Would we tolerate any other officially sanctioned activity that took any involuntary characteristic of just one child in a group and made it the basis of differentiation and isolation? I wouldn't-- it is unecessary and cruel.
She is very good at pretending it doesn't matter. But I have been very surprised at what I have heard her say since I stopped trying to 'shush' her when she complained.
Equal rights are not special rights.
And they still aren't. When I think about what it took for her to visit Europe, I want to cry-- she'd make the ultimate world-traveller-- by disposition, I mean-- if not for her bloody FA's.
An excellent question.
Inclusion means inclusion. That's what I think.
So if that means that I can't pass out latex balloons because of Janey's allergy, and Timmy can't eat wheat cupcakes, well, then, why don't we plan something ELSE entirely?? Oh? Juan is a Jehovah's Witness, you say? Fine. Here is a book for the classroom in my child's name. Can my child bring this and have it read during story time? We'll save 'happy birthday' for tonight at home.
The thing this thread has made me consider is this:
I need to consider carefully why I continue to ENABLE this kind of thing. Is it:
a. Because I'm comfortable with the status quo-- that I truly don't see anything 'wrong' about it?
or
b. Because I don't see what I can do to change it or fear the conflict that I know it will cause to try?
I am ashamed to admit that it is the latter. I've given up too many times, thinking, "This isn't so bad. At least.....{fill in the blank}." I've tried so many times to convince my daughter (and myself) that it was "fine" that events were "almost" accessible for her. Ugh.
Thank you, gvmom, for making my DH and I question our own personal 'comfort zone' that finds activism-based advocacy fairly 'radical' and even 'distasteful.'
I think that I owe my daughter better than to tell her that she should be 'happy enough' with the back of the bus.
I've come a long way, now that I recall this kind of thinking with bemusement that I ever
questioned my attitude that my daughter's worth makes her the equal of any other human being. It does me good to read it again.
Those reading it for the first time, though-- should be aware that much of the 'meat' in some posts has been gutted with time. Not all posts, and some of the very powerful ideas are intact-- but there are parts of that thread that are no longer there. Some of us were prescient enough to grab full versions during the 2008 exodus.
Topic: Remembering and thanking FA 504 trailblazers and advocates (Read 3667 times)
