When do you bring up food allergies?

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CMdeux:
Well, this is complicated (I think) in some ways in the current generation of teens in that face-to-face time is more limited in favor of getting to know one another well via electronic connections prior to spending a lot of time face to face.

There are some interesting sequelae there-- on the plus side, this means that people can get to know YOU without having to get to know your food allergies. On the negative side, this means that people who are otherwise "good friends" may be appallingly ignorant when you get right down to it, and it hurts more to find that out when you're emotionally invested.

Double-edged blade, that.

starlight:
Well, I don't date much at all (for other reasons) and I'm not aerosol reactive but I've handled it two ways so far.

1) if it's a person who's already friends with me and I get an inkling they want more, I start posting things to facebook. People who are interested in you pay attention to the articles you post, and if it's something relevant to their relationship to you, they'll comment on it or bring it up next time you talk to them in person. So, I'll post any stories that come up in the news about kids having reactions from being kissed or at a party and say something like, "relatives, this is why you don't get to kiss me at christmas" or "this is why I had to leave the office party, sorry I had to miss it!". If they don't bring up the allergy next time I see them (and I know they've had the chance to see it on my wall) then they either don't like me enough to care, or it makes them uncomfortable, or whatever. It serves as a red flag.

2) if it's someone new, I'm just upfront. I tell them, I'm allergic to nuts, if there's anyway you might think you want your lips anywhere near me when we go out, you can't have eaten nuts that day. And I make suggestions of places to go. "Sorry, I have an allergy, so I can't do chinese, but we could do W, X, or Y. We could try Z, but there's a chance I might have to leave." Then, once you're in a safe space, and he's seen you manage it a couple times, like when you order or wipe down the movie theater seat, you can talk more about sensitivity levels.

What's really nifty, now that the allergy rates have gone up (when I was growing up it was just me), every once in a while I'll mention it off-hand and the friend will ask, "oh, do you have an epi-pen? My (insert relative/friend) has an allergy!"

The downside is that I have it on my okcupid profile, and stupid okcupid keeps trying to match me with people who've put PB as one of the 6 things they can't live without. Your algorithm is a bit off there, okc.

CMdeux:
Some linky-loos for possible sharing:

http://www.foodallergy.org/resources/college-students

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/AllergiesNews/story?id=4719406&page=1

(That one is quite thorough, IMO)

http://allergicliving.com/index.php/2010/07/02/food-allergy-kissing-and-allergic-teens/

The technical details:
http://www.jacionline.org/article/S0091-6749%2806%2901192-4/fulltext

I'm reluctant to include this one, because ultimately, the cause of death was determined (though not without controversy) to be from other causes-- but the other information is SO good, that I'm going to post it anyway:

http://www.medpagetoday.com/PrimaryCare/PreventiveCare/2241

And an extreme example, and one that (I sincerely hope) is more "future" than present for our teens reading:

http://www.yourtango.com/200936438/food-allergies-and-dating-recipe-disaster

http://blog.foodallergy.org/2014/02/06/sparking-valentines-romance-without-triggering-allergies/

^ another excellent one for sharing. :)

http://www.whyriskit.ca/pages/en/learn.php

This is a bunch of VERY straightforward information that might be helpful to anyone that hasn't ever learned about life-threatening allergies.

Some PSA's produced by Anaphylaxis Canada are terrific-- short and sweet, but very very clear:

Anaphylaxis Canada "First Kiss" Public Service Announcement

Food Allergies and Dating - Anaphylaxis Canada Teen Video Series

^ that one is PRICELESS.

(As a side note, I do not recommend leading others here simply because this needs to be a place where you can remain anonymous and ask questions frankly-- which sometimes means posting things that might well be identifying to those who know you well IRL.)

CMdeux:
http://www.webmd.com/allergies/news/20060306/kissing-peanut-allergy-dangerous

VERY clear and short, but not watered down.

CMdeux:
This is the answer to "but you carry one of those pen things, right?"

http://www.kcra.com/news/local-news/news-sacramento/parents-of-girl-who-died-of-peanut-allergy-reaction-speak-out/21686610

One bite. ONE.