Going away to college with LTFA

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nonuteen:
PA/TNA Dd will be starting college in the fall. Trying hard to work with her college of choice to make a safe environment for her and it has been so stressful. While they are WAY more allergy aware than some I have dealt with, there is still a lot of risk. None of their dining areas are nut free and therefore no guarantee there. How will she eat? How do we keep her safe?

While speaking to special services today she really seemed to get it and is going to see if or how we can make this work (dining and housing wise) but did say this is the first time they have had to deal with an allergy this severe...sigh. Hard to always be the first...

Hoping we can make this work for her as she really has her heart set on the college experience and has worked really hard but so difficult transitioning from our very safe home environment to a college environment on her own in a small college town hours away...

If she lives in the dorms, she would need a single (which she DOESNT want, she wants to be with others) and they are only allowed a small fridge and microwave. No hot plates or anything else. Hardly an ideal way to make sure she always has her own food.

Thoughts? Anyone else in this position? I would have loved for her to stay home and commute one of the local colleges but she is ready to fly:)

CMdeux:
Not a lot of advice for you-- honestly, DD's allergies are such that (knowing what we know about college campuses, dorm environs, etc) there is just no way that we'll do it.

She might eventually transition to off-campus housing, but she has to be able to keep her own food safe, and she has to be able to prepare food for herself.

Anyway. Identifying yourself to disability services on campus is the first step-- I take it that you've done that, yes? If you press, can you get permission for other appliances (maybe an induction hot-plate?) for her? Honestly, she's going to HAVE to be flexible enough to realize that her college experience may not be identical to that of her unaffected peers. That's simply the way that it is. She's not alone in not getting "the" college experience that she imagined, by any means-- but taking risks with your management strategy in order to live more normally.... hmm.... there's a limit to what is wise there, yeah?

There's a lot more to being ready to fly than wanting to live away from home for our kids. Unfortunately. Being truly ready also means being mature enough to accept that you have to compromise on what you want so that it's feasible in light of the very real limitations on your food safety, KWIM?

That means not eating in a high-risk setting 2 or 3 meals a day for four years, at least if you're someone with a low reaction threshold.

I'm happy that my DD hasn't really fought this all that much-- she packs food rather than planning to purchase lunch (generally has a back-up plan even if she does plan to purchase something that she's scoped ahead of time), and seems to accept that this is just her lot in life. It sounds like your DD isn't accepting that she may HAVE to live in a single-- maybe that is just the impression that I'm getting.

I get some of this is lack of experience, too; my DD doesn't understand how food-oriented a lot of sorority affairs are, and has it in her mind that she'd like to go through Rush. I'm not telling her "no" but I'm also not really encouraging it, either.

I feel for you. It is very stressful. :grouphug:

twinturbo:
The hot plate may be non-negotiable. Yes, I think it's silly too but even professors are not supposed to have anything but a microwave or small refrigerator in their office. I've tried getting DH to stock something else in his office for years and he can't/won't. It probably is rooted in fire hazard as it's not limited to students.

CMdeux:
Right-- and that's where I'm thinking "induction" might be an exception, since it's not a thermal source any more than a microwave is.