Reasonable Accommodations for FA 4th Grader

[ctmartin]

Hi, All!  Well, it's *that* time of year again ...    We are once again having problems with our school, and after only just starting last year, we will not be re-enrolling.  Previously, (K-2), we attended a loving parochial school where we had a couple of hiccups in 3 years, but otherwise nothing like what we have experienced in the year we have been at our current private, independent school.  Last school year was so bad that I actually fell ill from the stress induced by the whole thing, but after several meetings with the leadership toward the end of the year they assured me that THEY wanted to change.  True, a lot of the problems from last year centered on the particular teacher and her overuse (daily) of food in the classroom, and now we have a different teacher who is completely opposite, so that has certainly helped.  However, it is the school's attitude toward allergies (basically, they do not take them seriously) that is the problem.

I am trying to solicit advice on reasonable accommodations for a peanut and sesame allergic 4th grader as I search for other schools.  Right now, her school thinks it is OK to consume peanuts in her classroom without cleaning.  They think it is OK for parents to bring in food treats ANYTIME and for ANY REASON, and refuse to send a letter home asking to refrain from such behavior.  So far, in just the last couple of weeks, someone has brought in Halloween cupcakes (we don't even celebrate Halloween at our school, so it makes even less sense that this was allowed) and Christmas cookies (yep, November 17th), without any notice to the teacher, and these were passed out and consumed by everyone but my daughter.  Finally, on Friday I had to pick my daughter up early from school because she could not safely participate in the "Thanksgiving Feast" they were having.  It consisted of 10-12 parents bringing in HOMEMADE dishes, with the caveat to please make sure everything is peanut free (as if!).  No mention of my daughter's sesame allergy, either, as the school does not think it is important to communicate this to the room mom, even though they assured me that they would handle all communications.  I had offered a solution of making things safe by having people provide store bought items with proper allergen-free labels, but they did not want that.  Did I mention that even after I had e-mailed the teacher and asked her to check the new class pet's food to make sure it was peanut free, I happened to be in the classroom the next day and found the food to contain WHOLE PEANUTS as the 3rd ingredient?

Obviously, this is no place for any food allergic child, but they don't see it.  After the first cupcake incident a few weeks ago, I was told that a communication asking parents to refrain from sending nonessential treats would go home as early as the following week, which never did.  When this cookie incident and the lunch went down this week, I actually met with the school and asked why the original communication never went out.  She told me that she had drafted a letter, but that "leadership" had shot it down and said that they did not want "to go there."  So, with that being said, we are certainly not going to remain here, but she made reference to my daughter's age (as if these requests were not appropriate due to it), so I wanted to see what you all thought.  So, this post is part rant, part solicitation of advice, and I greatly appreciate any feedback!!   Thank you!!!

[Macabre]

I don't have time to respond now but will try to later today. But reasonable does NOT APPLY for K-12. See Letter to Zirkel.

Accommodations do not have to meet the reasonable criterion.

[Macabre]

Also

[ajasfolks2]

"Necessary and appropriate" is the benchmark for K- 12 accommodations.

Clearly the school is bending over to accommodate the foodie parents and having parental involvement = food bring in.   

Look hard at your private school's mission statements, statements of nondiscrimination, and other policy/rules handbook to help craft a solid list of needs for your child while using their own institution's words in the mix.  It can be gold this way.

ZERO unplanned food brought in by ANY parent needs to be one accommodation.  There needs to be a set-in-stone WRITTEN solution as to how these foods will be dealt with when/if they still show up. 

I'd list each accommodation and then a "how to implement" section as they CLEARLY cannot or will not implement without some serious handholding and/or prodding.

You're going to have to come up with some sort of workaround for the frigging parties that I doubt they will give up.  Some kind of timetable where you must be informed of date of event and what the food restrictons MUST BE for the safety and inclusion of your child.  They need a written SAFETY CHECKLIST and you need them to take this seriously.

[ctmartin]

Macabre and ajasfolks2 ... thanks for your responses during this busy holiday time!  I love the idea of looking at the school's own mission statement, but I truly believe nothing is going to hold up against this school (even if you point out how hypocritical and UNCHRISTIAN-LIKE they are, they will not bend)  I actually wrote an e-mail asking them what they suggest I do with my daughter when events similar to Friday's inevitably come up ... can't wait to see their response to that!  This is a school that bends to the parents wishes (especially the big-time donor parents), and nothing, not even their own published rules, are ever enforced.

Nope, I am not giving another penny to this school ... they are a Christian school in name only, and care nothing about the safety and inclusion of ALL students (I have actually heard that this school has turned students with disabilities away; not surprising, given our treatment).  I just hope we can make it through the rest of the year safely and as emotionally intact as possible.

I will begin contacting other schools in January, and just wanted to get a feel for what accommodations are considered standard.  I spoke with a FA parent in our county that says that our school is in violation of our county standards with allowing homemade items into the classroom, but again, since they are private, it doesn't matter.

Thanks again,and I'll check out letter to Zirkel!

[lakeswimr]

It varies a lot in public schools from schools who are like the one you are in to schools that are excellent with accommodating food allergies.  I would recommend talking to your local public schools. 

The fact that so far your child has not had a bad reaction in spite of the situation is good. As kids get older they can get less sensitive to trace exposure.  My son did, thankfully. 

I'm sorry they are being so insensitive. 

[ctmartin]

yes, lakeswimr ... my daughter is extremely careful about handwashing and making sure her friends that have eaten PB wash their hands afterwards.  she has never sat at a PN free table and has done fine.  however, i don't like the idea (and no allergist i have spoken with recommends this) of her allergens being eaten in the classroom without any cleaning.  true, she hasn't had a reaction (yet), but we are only three months in, and they only eat in the classroom once a week.  i'm thinking ... it's only a matter of time.  it's just not a safe practice (not to mention that my daughter freaks out when she sees people roaming the classroom with PBJ in hand and touching things).  they have a lunch room, for pete's sake!  the teacher let's them eat in the classroom as a special "treat,"  though i am not sure why it is special ...

[lakeswimr]

I would feel the same way.  Good luck getting a better situation.  If we can help, please ask away.  I'm sorry they are being so insensitive. 

[ctmartin]

so, i have heard back from the school, and they have told me that they are in the process of writing a food allergy policy (we first met almost 10 months ago, and this was supposed to be in place BEFORE we started school t his year, which is why we had re-enrolled in the first place, but i digress ...), but it has to get approval and that hasn't happened yet.  in the meantime, they have already "warned" me that i am basically not going to get any accommodations, but that they will "work with me" to communicate when alternative food needs to be brought in.  they have ASSURED me that the policy they are putting together is in line with other independent christian schools they have researched, but i doubt this.  otherwise, these schools must have no one with food allergies in attendance, because i can't imagine anyone putting up with what the school says they will do (basically, nothing).

their stonewalling and reticence to put anything into writing, even after 10 months of discussion, is truly maddening, and, in one of our correspondences, they mentioned that there is a child in K who has accommodations in place.  i have asked several times if we could have these same accommodations, whatever they might be, and have gotten no response.  i believe at some point, if they ever address my question, they will claim it is because the child is in K and mine is in 4th.

i know you all mentioned earlier zirkel ... where might i find this (or anything else that will support this issue).  thanks a bunch! and thanks for being here!!

[CMdeux]

Whether or not it is applicable, sadly, is going to depend upon whether this school is subject to federal oversight under Section 504.

[ctmartin]

Do you mean whether it is applicable, or whether it is enforceable?  I don't think any document is enforceable, as they are an independent school and, as such, I am assuming not subject to such oversight.  However, I guess I just wanted a document that is applicable to our situation that would substantiate what I am asking for, whether it is enforceable or not.  These people are SO freaking self-righteous.  I think that's part of the reason I have such a fire lit under me.  At our former school, were mistakes made?  Sure they were.  But I didn't get all worked up (although I may have vented here once or twice ).  The school and/or teacher always apologized and I knew that they were learning and interested in keeping my daughter safe and included.  That attitude does not exist where we are at now.  They refuse to see ANY wrong in what they are doing (or not doing), nor do they see their behavior as un-Christian like or a missed learning opportunity.  Instead, the rhetoric just keeps coming ... "what we are doing is in line with other schools similar to ours," blah blah blah.  Just because there are other schools out there whose behavior is equally as bad, doesn't make it right!!