I asked my son to read your post. He said he completely understood how you felt. Which, I figured he would because it makes sense to feel uncomfortable around something that could kill you.... easily and horribly.
When you see a jar of peanut butter, logically you know the peanut butter isn't going to jump out of the jar, force you to eat it and kill you. But, that jar of peanut butter isn't really a food to you right? It is full of what could cause you death. Why shouldn't that make you feel anxious?
I'd also add, that being sort OCD with germs and cleanliness is something that we also deal with. For us it has come as a byproduct of vigilance & FA's. We don't necessarily view that as a bad thing because we think about how we measure something relative to what we have to deal with.
Not letting someone touch your stuff... well.... our kids wouldn't let someone do that either. For us, that is okay and a good thing because who knows what someone else has touched? Is that a problem for someone else? Well, if it is, that is their problem. If it is viewed as OCD.... okay. Does it mean then that my DS1 isn't going to obsess about wondering what that person touched before using something of his, and if they had an allergen on their hands which then got on his stuff.... which had been uncontaminated until then.... yes. Is it better for him to not worry about what is on his phone or is it better for him to appear "normal" to other people?
We have gotten over trying to live "normally" and live in a way that accepts certain things as part and parcel of having FA's. My kids carry wipes with them; we carry wipes with us. None of us has a problem wiping something if they feel like they need to .... logically or even for peace of mind.
If you grew up being taught to be vigilant about what you touched, washing hands, thinking about cross contamination and learning how to be an advocate for yourself, etc., how is it logical that somehow you turn that process off just because it is your parents who are bringing your allergen into what has been a previously "safe" zone?