From thread in OffTopic discussing recent bullying in the news (not necessarily bullying of LTFA).
Many of us here deal with kids who may be on spectrum as well as LTFA. Wanted to highlight this here in Schools and share.
(Arkadia's link -- thank you!!)
Link:
http://www.aspergermanagement.com/exploring-bullying-adults-autism-asperger-syndromeQuote from that:
The authors then investigate an area which is why I found “Exploring Bullying with Adults with Autism and Asperger Syndrome” so thought-provoking, useful and why I would thoroughly recommend it for any manager with AS: why a person with AS bullies themselves’ and why they may be perceived as a bully.
At first I was slightly taken aback by this, but the message is one of the most important and beneficial I have assimilated in my readings recently!
The starting point for understanding this is appreciating why a person with AS reacts when they are being bullied: when they feel angry, anxious – it leads them to feel under pressure and adopt inappropriate coping strategies. In addition, it may not be understood how these resultant behaviours affect other people. As Stott and Tickle importantly emphasise, it is vital to take self-responsibility for our own actions and behaviours.
Unintentionally offending others – by using direct and blunt discourse for example – may be construed as bullying by others. Not being able to communicate effectively and so establish effective inter-personal relationships, leading one being regarded as deliberately ignoring others if they appear aggressive can result in being seriously misunderstood. This was certainly the case with the aggressive manager mentioned previously: my passive-aggressive stance (with an emphasis on aggressive in terms of my demeanour) towards him was undoubtedly the catalyst for his subsequent – vicious – victimisation and bullying.
Other examples that resonated to me – and which from reading this book have become more apparent – are not considering sufficiently other people’s views or simply speaking without giving them opportunity to respond. I can see now more readily how this may be regarded as “arrogant” or wanting to “just get my way”.
The key point, as made in the book, is that others will not understand why you are acting in the way you are. Smiling when inappropriate is one example cited and which, in turn , results in damaging responses by them.
A really relevant example cited for me was approaching people in an inappropriate manner. With retrospect, I realise I have done this on a few occasions. Looking back my demeanour was “passive-aggressive” and emanated from having to ask or confront third-parties about an issue about which I felt very uncomfortable. Another analogy – which was put to me by my boss at the BBC – was the way I approached people, which was too intrusive and insufficiently subtle – basically butting in! As the authors say, the rules in these types of scenarios can be quite complex.
The same point relates to relationships and associated, unwritten rules. This is an area where I personally have experienced great difficulties. I can be too open and trustworthy or have, unintentionally, affronted authority because of my propensity to literally interpret. As Stott and Tickle assert, relationships are often defined by how much we know about someone and what has been shared by them with you. Very useful – and thought provoking advice!
Because they are so complex, it can be easy to misunderstand the purpose of any relationship. This can lead someone with AS to behave in ways that are inappropriate or uncomfortable towards the other person: regarding someone as a friend or an ally for example.
Topic: More on Bullying (Read 1698 times)
