When I asked her about the sausage and pepperoni she said, "Well, what is everyone else supposed to eat?"
Makes you want to respond, "You can eat all the sausage and pepperoni you want at my wake! For now it's off limits."
It's really hard when your mom doesn't get it. My good friend has an allergy to capsicum (peppers) and her mother can't get her head around it. Her mom is quite good about my daughter's allergies and that makes it even harder.
Remember that you are dealling with this 24/7 and it's a bit of a learning curve for everyone. Your family are not there yet and you do have to protect yourself as others have mentioned. They could also be in a bit of denial about the severity of your allergy. No one wants to think a loved one has a life threatening condition and it's hard enough to get the general public to believe in peanut allergies let alone one that is less known like this.
Be aware of anything that says spices, anything with heat and topical ointments that increase circulation, give a rosy glow, puff up the skin (volumizing lipstick) etc.
http://www.drugs.com/npp/capsicum-peppers.html