Excellent points, for sure.
Know-- truly KNOW-- where your own personal line in the sand is, and keep that information purely to yourself and your spouse, but HAVE DISCUSSED IT.This is why we educate my DD at home, frankly-- when the difference between what "is" and what NEEDS to be is
so far apart... AND you encounter profound ignorance/hostility, you can pretty much bet that it isn't going to go anywhere positive.
I am not sure that is the OP's situation, however.
I think that she is dealing with: a)
ignorant administration-- both of legal rights and of her child's actual needs, and b) slow communication hampered by recent weather events.
Do keep in mind that about 60-70% of the counties where she and I live are currently in a state of emergency for the fifth day running and with virtually no end in sight.
My assessment of this one is that it's way too soon to KNOW how this one is ultimately going to go.
I think it can still go well-- IF she's meticulously careful and doesn't escalate unecessarily. If she can be patient-- and let them find that flashlight and use those two hands, as the rather crude saying goes. Given the level of cooperation of the classroom teacher and the nurse, that seems plausible here. (It isn't always-- not at all if you have a teacher that is actively posing a daily danger to a child in the interim.)
My advice is that she should treat the administration team involved as though they were just ignorant-- and behaving in a fairly belligerent fashion mostly because they aren't too quick on the draw. It's probably close enough to the truth anyway, and it might allow her to keep her temper with them to think of them as being
slow rather than obstructionist.