the reason for not giving the epi pen at such a low weight is the very rare risk of brain damage (so our allergist told us) , however, anaphylaxis itself carries that risk.
My own son was refused epi pens for this reason from one pead, but when he was 2 we asked for epi pens from his GP, and later on the allergiest prescribed them to him. My son only reached the magic 25 lbs at 3yrs old, and that depended on his health at the time.
(its a long , and complicated story really...)
I would ask for a second opinon on this if i was you, and ask about the risks etc, IF you are unhappy with your current emergency medication.
If you are advised to carry such emergency medication, then really you are aknowledging that at some point in your child's life this medication will be needed. Its all part of accepting the change that severe allergies bring in to your life. There is no 'ideally we will never need it' , but on the other hand most children need epi pens when they are older. It depends on the allergy list and the daily avoidance management you have in place.
you have to think carefully about how confidant you are , and how well you have been trained to use vials and needles. If you are confidant, then hopefully other medical professionals can do the same training for the day care staff.
However, vials and needles are not normally given out, the last i heard of them being in use was from an article i read in a old uk allergy magazine of a woman who said that while going through anaphylaxis is was difficult to assemble the vials and needles herself. But difficult for untrained others to also assemble in an emergency situation. The arrival of the epi pen heralded a new freedoom for her at the time.
what is your childs full emergency treatment plan?
what other health problems does your child have , eczema? asthma? envrio allergies? can she eat egg? do you suspect that other allergies may be added to her list?
I am sure other members here will fill you in on the law and how it can help you, and how best to get the correct support you need for your baby.
Am glad the day care staff are understanding and supportive, lets hope the director problem will be overcome.
good luck!