Field Trips

[ryanmn]

At what age do you let your child go on field trips alone.  My 6th grader will be going to the state capital this
year and I said I was going along.  They need parents anyway, so I will not be the only adult there.  In his 504
it states that a family member has to go along.  Should I do the same next year?  I am on the fence about this.

I have heard around age 13, is where parents let their kids go alone and then you read that they were on a
trail in the woods and then dropped dead from an allergic reaction.  I can understand he doesn't want his mommy
with him all the time, but I don't know if I would feel comfortable with him going along.  Thoughts?

[momma2boys]

My ds went on his 8th grade field trip last year to an amusement park about 90 minutes away.  I insisted on going, and what ended up happening was horrible.  Cannot imagine what would've happened if I hadn't been there.  I still have post traumatic stress thinking about it. 

If you aren't comfortable with him going alone, by all means, insist you go!

[PurpleCat]

My questions is what do you mean by "alone"?

My DD has gone on field trips without DH or I.  Once in preschool, and then consistently since 3rd grade.  She has always had a responsible adult overseeing her.  On some occasions it is the teacher, assistant teacher or a designated parent.  A few times that parent was a nurse - bonus.

She has been fine.  We have discussed all precautions before the trip and they have been followed.

She is 12 and would be horrified if I went on one now.  She's fine with me doing things like driving her and her friends to the movies and watching the movie but not sitting with the girls.  At the mall, we check in or the mom that drove checks in with the girls and she goes off with her friends.  Some check in's are in person and others are by cell phone.

Next year, her 8th grade class goes to Washington DC and the school nurse will be on the trip to oversee the kids with medical issues.  We will let her go.

These are good learning experiences for her to be away from us while being supervised by adults.  For us that is stepping stones towards her independence.

It can be a hard decision, and we do look at each trip individually before we decide.  In our case, our school system is fantastic with kids with allergies so we have not had to say no.  (Now that doesn't mean I don't have anxiety while she is gone - there's plenty of that!)

[ryanmn]

Alone meaning not with a family member or nurse on the trip.

Yes, that is what I mean!  You never know what is going to happen on a field trip.  A teacher is fine to watch
your kid, but he or she also has to watch more than just yours.

[Carefulmom]

When dd started middle school, she decided she did not want me on field trips (6th grade).  For the first one, I went, we agreed to ignore each other, and she would do everything as though I was not there (pick a table free of crumbs, if all tables had crumbs then wipe the table, wash hands before eating, move away from anyone with peanut items).  I think that was all.  She did fine, and I have not gone a field trip since.  I am always surprised when I read about parents going on field trips with middle school kids.  Like Purple Cat, by the time dd was 12 she would have been dead set against my going.  I mean, really 12 year olds don`t usually have their mommy along.  If I was not comfortable with the field trip and felt a need to go, dd would have preferred to skip the field trip.  Even though I do not go, I do offer to meet with the teachers to review the epi before the field trip.  The teachers usually say yes.  A few have said it was not necessary.  I worried a lot in middle school, the first few field trips that I did not go on the cell phone was glued to me.  By the time she got to high school, it was really no big deal, because enough of her friends are already epi trained.

[momma2boys]

My ds was fine with me going, so were his friends.  If I hadn't been there God only knows what would've happened to my ds.  It was a chain reaction of mistakes, a reaction, a substitute nurse who thought it was anxiety, and the bus driver refusing to pull over.  My ds was so out of it, there was nothing he could've done if I hadn't been there.  So I think he was better off having "mommy" there and being alive today, thank you very much!

[yelloww]

I didn't go on most elem school field trips. If it was a half day one, the teacher was fine with taking the Epi for ds. There are only two full day trips in elem school. Last yr to the statehouse and this yr 5th grade to Washington DC. I went to the statehouse last yr, and we all agreed three yrs ago that I am absolutely going on the DC trip. It is 12hrs and involves food courts.

There aren't as many trips in middle school from what I can tell. I teach marching band with the middle school music dept staff, so any music related events can be done without me. As for an end of the yr amusement park type trip, I'd absolutely go but I wouldnt stay with ds he whole time. I'd just be on site. My situation is different in that I am also a contractual district employee so they would probably rather have me go than a non-employee parent.

HS is a non issue because dh is the band director. If ds is going on a trip, it is a band trip that dh runs and we are both attending as school staff.

We decide field trips on a case by case basis. My goal has always been to only attend full day field trips involving food. It has worked out well so far, knock wood.

Story time:
My own mother (a now retired teacher) chaperoned a trip to NYC. Instead of going back with the kids she met me at my office and spent the weekend. (planned in advance by the school and not the only chaperone) She showed up at my ofc and still had a students back- up Epis with her!!!!! And she has a bee allergy and an Epi herself!!!!  That's why I go on the full day trips. If she forgot, then just about any non- allergy person could forget even easier!

[Mfamom]

Well, either dh or I attended every elem trip.  My dh attended the 6th grade trip which needed parents for chaperones and it was in the woods away from medical facility etc.
In 7th grade they went to the beach for some science based trip and I did not attend.  My ds going on a 2 overnight trip this spring and I'm not going.
My ds and friends always fine with my attendance, it didn't seem weird because other parents were there as well.
My ds would love for me to go this year, but parents arent there.  I'm really nervous to be honest with you.  He is great with his management, etc. I'm always worried about the other shoe dropping if he needs help (like what momma2 experienced).
I absoutely would not send my ds on most field trips without a nurse present. 
I think that you have to do whats right for your situation, your child etc.  I would be heartbroken if my kid told me to ignore him, he ignore me....my ds hasn't ever gone through that.  He'll still give me a kiss in the car in the morning (he's 14). 

[Mfamom]

I will add....twice I had the other 2 allergy kids in my group of 5.  The nurse was there, but she was roving around at Ellis Island.  I was really uncomfortable because I didn't have the other two kids medicine bag etc.  I finally said, how will I reach YOU if one of these kids has a problem?   

In 5th they went to nyc for lunch and a play.  The nurse and staff did not double check that the meals for the kids with allergies actually got to them.  Then, in the theatre, people were eating reese's peices and my ds was gagging on the smell.  No one was paying any attention to how this was affecting the kids with PA.  they don't think that way because they don't live it, YK?

That's why when they are younger, having a parent there is sometimes helpful. 

[momma2boys]

Mfamom, exactly!  Not only did my ds and I ignore each other, but he and his friends were begging me to go on rides with them!  My ds would've been in a lot of trouble if I hadn't been there.  He wouldn't have gone if I didn't go, by his own choice. 

Carefulmom, every situation is different, and the only one you know for sure is your own.  There is no need to be rude and condescending to others just because they do things differently than you do.  Not all of us have kids that are embarassed to be around us.  That day, my ds was pretty glad his "mommy" was there.

[Carefulmom]

Oh wow....talk about jumping to  conclusions.  My dd and I ignored each other as a trial run so that we could see how it would go if I were not there.  Dd and I do stuff together all the time, movies, mini-golf, mall, amusement parks, the fair, etc.  Always have, always will.  And yes, she still kisses me good bye.  I also know that it is perfectly normal for kids with food allergies not to want to stand out by being the only one to.....fill in the blank, the only one to have their own food, the only one to have to ask about ingredients, the only one to have to wear an epi belt, the only one to have their mommy on a field trip at an age when no one else does.  This is all perfectly normal.  Interesting how I echo what Purple Cat said and it is deemed "condescending".  Talk about twisting things around.....

Goodbye, ladies.  You can sit and twist my words around as much as you like.  As for me, I will  move on to another thread and won`t waste my time coming back to this one.

[AllergyMum]

In JK my MFA son went on his first field trip without my husband or myself.  His JK teacher took his allergies very very seriously and we have a very good allergy safety plan in place that the school follows.  As well, my son self-carries his epi's and only eats food we provide.

For us, I take each school trip as they come up to determine if a parent is needed, and to determine how allergies can be managed in that environment.

Good luck