DS faking "allergies"

[TabiCat]

My 7 yearold has suddenly started faking allergies to things he doesn't like or want. EX: telling his grandmother he was allergic to onions in his meal. (Of course this was my fault because I am so overprotective with his allergies)

This really concerns me because I want him to be able to advocate for himself and to be taken seriously. If he has a habit of lying about food he wont be trusted.

We have made it clear to the schools staff exactly what he is allergic to and that they are to correct him for not telling the truth if he claims an allergy to anything else. I don't think that will be a big issue at school because he is only supposed to eat foods at school that I have provided.

[SilverLining]

TC, it is NOT your fault.  He's a kid.  They try all sorts of tricks to get what they want (and not get what they don't want).

My son, who has insect allergies, but no food allergies tried it too.  It was also onions he decided he was "allergic" to.  It wasn't really being "bad" either.  In his mind, he doesn't like bugs, which he is allergic to.  Having seen me be sooooo careful to not let anyone eatings sesame seeds near MY food, he assumed I didn't like them.  He didn't really "get it" regarding cross contamination, so kind of assumed I didn't like sesame seeds....so, in his mind, don't like = allergy.

Years ago, I was working in a linch room and one of my students tried to get "special treatment" by telling me she had an allergy.  One of my students was allergic to fish and was allowed to pick a friend to move seats with him if someone at his table was eating fish.  This other kid wanted to change seats, so she told me she was "really allergic" to garlic.  So, I told her she'd have to come to the office with me to call her mom and we'd have to make sure her school records got updated and her mom could give me permission to let her move seats.  She tried to cnvince me her mom didn't know about her allergy, but finally fessed up.  (I knew for certain she had no allergies...I knew her mom.)

So, it's not that unusual at that age.  Since your son does have real food allergies, you do have different concerns, and it needs to be handled differently.  But, please...no "mommy guilt" over this.   

[Mookie86]

Kids lie to avoid things they don't want to do.  It's normal.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  All you can do is explain the importance of being honest, and that it's important to his safety that people can believe what he says he can and can't eat.  Of course, at his age, I'd hope nobody is really relying on him to determine what's safe!

[catelyn]

My youngest hears the allergy stuff all the time and drew his own conclusions.  He flipped about a month ago when Ralph bought some peanut butter cookies.   Helga is TN allergic but not peanut.  Nobody in the house really eats anything pn so its not something with have around.  He was BEYOND convinced that he was allergic to peanuts.  It took us a week to convince him that he was fine and that if he would like he could try a pb cookie.  He finally tried one and was wasn't sure what to think.  A couple of days later he asked for one.  Its funny what goes through the head of an 8 year old.

[YouKnowWho]

Well he understands the seriousness of it because he knows if he says he is allergic to onions, people will go out of their way to keep him safe.

Might be time to read him "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" for a life lesson.

FWIW - I claimed to be allergic to a variety of things as a child to get out of eating them.  I also told my parents I was allergic to bananas because they made me miserable but they never believed me.  Maybe that would be worth sharing with him.

[maeve]

I really thinks it's his age.  My DD would say her stomach hurt every day at school to go to the clinic when she was 7.  I tried to explain the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" story to her.  She eventually outgrew it, but the whole situation was probably also exacerbated by her grandfather being terminally ill at the time (though we didn't tell her he was going to die until a couple of weeks before he died).

[becca]

Ds(no allergies) swears he is allergic to bananas, but ate a fruit leather with banana the other day, and can eat strawberry banana togurt, etc...  IDK, maybe he has OAS to them?  But he also is weary of eating PB, like Catelyn's son.  Both kids have claimed allergy to something they are not allergic to. 

I think a good talk about the importance of being honest about them, especially since h ehas genuine allergies, hopefully will sink in. 

[sarahfran]

I remember my daughter doing the same thing years ago (when she was maybe 5 or 6)?  I think it wasn't outright lying--she just knew she absolutely HATED the taste of certain things and, having no real memory of her allergic reactions from eating PB when she was tiny but only knowing her own extreme aversion to PB, she equated loathing a food with being allergic to it.  We had to make it very, very clear to her that not liking something, even to the point where you can't stand having it in your mouth and you feel like you have to spit it out, isn't the same as being allergic to it and that if she wanted beople to be able to help keep her safe from the things she REALLY was allergic to, she had to be clear and honest about this subject.  It was fine to politely turn down food that you really don't like, within reason (you still have to eat your vegetables!), but you can't use a made up allergy as an excuse.

Incidentally, when I was 9 years old and in Girl Scout camp, I told the counsellors I was allergic to tomatoes because all of the really gross food (sloppy joes, spaghetti sauce with onions, etc.) had tomatoes in it.  I have no allergies at all and didn't know what a food allergy even was.  I thought I just had cleverly hit on a way to avoid disgusting food for a week!

Sarah