Mfamom, last night while driving to school I told DS and DH about your meeting and with every sentence DS was making "uh huh" comments. When I finished, he said, "So does <your DS' name> actually go to my school now, because this sounds exactly like our 504 meeting!" (I hadn't mentioned the striking similarities.).
With the way your DS was treated by football coach, I think you have reason enough to go elsewhere. This provides more reason.
I will say that so far, even though our school unapologetically has a huge culture of food, things have been going okay. If you'll remember very Friday in the multi-grade home room DS has, they have a huge snack (kids sign up for it). And kids are allowed to eat in every class.
We've changed our expectations a bit. Relaxed them some--and part of this is because DS is getting older. And he doesn't want to be stick out. This is the first place where he hasn't been known as the kid with PA and it has frankly helped socially. I'm not saying we've sacrificed safety for popularity. Not at all. But we are now willing to let DS negotiate things more. Our 504 still has that we'll be notified if food used for instructional purposes.
I will still try to send you our 504. I think it's a bit fluffy. But we've got it. Because we did it before school started we had to trust the team a bit when they said something didn't apply there (though I probed to make sure). One thing I didn't take out was the food for lockdown. They were absolutely dumbfounded that we could possibly need to include that. Ugh.
I'm glad you still have the designation. You can work on things from this point.