YMCA Halloween party situation. What would you do?

[yelloww]

Have you thought about enrolling her in the public school? Or is it possible to speed up her homeschooling some so that she can start at a local college sooner?

[Jessica]

I thought about public school but personally, I wouldn't want to be the new kid in my senior year in a small-town school (and it's not the town we live near and we rarely go there-it just happens to be the school district we live in). I may email the local college guidance counselor and see if he/she has any suggestions. I would be willing to take a class with her the first time if it's a fun class (so that she could get used to the classroom setting without being totally alone). I'm over doing academics. lol

[Mookie86]

Does she plan on attending a brick-and-mortar college?  If so, I think it's a great idea to take classes at the community college so she gets used to being in a classroom, taking those tests, etc.

[Macabre]

Another idea: if it's free in your state, enrolling in a cyber school. That way she'd interact with kids her age, even if they are in a different place.  And if she gets on with one or two of them, maybe if you travel to that part of the state (say for a field trip), you can meet up.  It might be an opportunity for a social bridge anyway.

I think moving to a b&m school might be tough in an environment like your small town.  I have lived in a tiny town, and the only thing for kids to do was sit in a parking lot and drink.  Ugh.

The idea of taking a class at a local community college is great!

Back to the topic--one of the things that has helped DS make an adjustment in feeling secure around food that wouldn't be safe for him to eat is having developed friendships.  And that's happened alot more the last two years of middle school and this first year of high school.  I've seen a direct correlation. 

It's a trade off, being in that kind of environment, and what he got out of it was being with friends--even if he gave up the eating part.  But finding friends with whom he had a lot in common--that was the tough part for a number of years.  Once he got into theatre, that made it easier, because there were a number of commonalities.  And this year, his theatre friends also have a lot more in common.  He was talking about it at dinner tonight (and has a number of times in recent weeks):  they love Doctor Who and Downton Abbey, they are "PBS freaks" like he is (his words), they like the same indie music.  It's been cool to see.  And I've been grateful for it. But it took finding a common interest to make it possible.

(((hugs))) She sounds like a  like a great kid.  I know you'll find something that works. 

[Macabre]

And I'd stay away from that cuz. 

[CMdeux]

   to all of that.

My DD has found that with a group of academic hypergeeks-- that's really about all that they have in common, aside from a love for literature.  They're just "smart" kids-- and they range in age from 13 to 18, they're homeschooled, privately schooled, publically schooled, etc.  All are high schoolers.

They met one another because of a volunteer-run local effort at promoting (serious) writing among teens.  A local YA author mentors them-- the core group has also developed an interest in RPG as a social activity, so they meet up at least a couple of times a week.  They are all otherwise kids who would live on the fringes socially-- some of them would literally have NO friends otherwise, or may have never had friends before now. 

It's all about finding a shared interest and other people who like it, too.  Less isolation = better confidence.  It's global.

Another thing that has really helped is volunteering.  This was very hard for a lot of years, because we don't have a faith community to act as the backbone for such things.  But if you find a local agency that NEEDS volunteer help and is something that your DD is passionate about, she can build social relationships there, too.  It's slow, but it works a lot better than the cruising/drinking/parking method of socialization.  (And yes, I've seen that model of "teen activities" as well; grew up with it.  Not good.)

 

[bleh]

A bit off topic but what exactly does/did everyone do with their kids for Halloween? My daughter is only 4 so she doesn't really know that all the other kids are out in costumes getting candy.

[twinturbo]

I threw a party at our house early enough to avoid scheduling conflicts. As for giving out candy I'm not much for it. I may give some out rather than shut off all the lights and avoid trick or treaters. It's not my thing.

[Macabre]

We took DS trick or treating.  He loved chatting it up with people in the neighborhood (even ones he'd never met). We'd use a very cheap/disposable loot bag.  Once we got home he'd trade the loot bag for a better one. it had safe stuff and also there was a significant prize--like very cool toy. One year it was a double stomp rocket. One year it was a smoke-filled bubble machine (these specific things were when he was older).

Some folks have the Great Pumpkin or Pumkin Fairy do this work.

DS just did not have the expectation the candy was his to keep.  I mean it's not like he would have gotten to keep all that junk if he didn't have a food allergy.