Sending kids to school...

[Jessica]

I know it doesn't really compare, but it's interesting to hear people on facebook/forums talking about how they can't imagine wondering if, when you send your child to school, if they'll make it home. They're talking about the shooting, of course, but thoughts of allergic reactions at schools immediately jump into my head whenever I see it.

[GoingNuts]

I had the same thought Jessica.  Complete different circumstances, of course.

[CMdeux]

Of course.  And this next statement is NOT intended to minimize anything--

At the same time, sending your child to every {normal/routine/safe activity} and knowing on some level that it's possible that you might never get them back is...

truly...

inconceivable to most parents.  Really it is.


But on some level that thought crosses my mind-- still-- every time my daughter leaves my presence, and she's 13.  I know that nobody else 'gets' that unless they live it. 

I am GLAD that most parents don't have to live like this.

That not-entirely-unrealistic fear has mingled with my love for her for so long that the two things are sort of fused together for me now.    It's become the like the tide in my heart, with my child pulling on that terror, like the moon.  I expect it, but it still affects me as that fear level rises and falls depending on where she is and whether I know that she is okay.

You can learn to partition it away where it doesn't dominate your thoughts, certainly.  But it never really goes away for me.

[hedgehog]

I am GLAD that most parents don't have to live like this.

QFT

[paparenttoo]

....

[GoingNuts]

Very well said, paparentoo.

[YouKnowWho]

I don't want to minimize what happened because it's horrible but someone had numbers posted last night that I cannot find (they were told they were being insensitive and deleted).

Chances of being in a school shooting: slim
Chances of being diagnosed with cancer: better chance
Chances of being killed in a car crash:  most likely

And then for us- chances of having a food allergy reaction that is potentially life threatening: Too damn high

He had actually numbers listed (minus the food allergy one) in trying to comfort people.  I saw where he was going with it. 

DH always fears he is going to die in a plane crash but doesn't fear driving to work on a daily basis.  The reality is that he is more likely to be in a car accident than plane crash. 

[Jessica]

DH always fears he is going to die in a plane crash but doesn't fear driving to work on a daily basis.  The reality is that he is more likely to be in a car accident than plane crash. 

For me, I think it's the lack of control in something like a plane. I admit that even though I've flown a LOT, flying makes me nervous. But now it's more for other reasons (dd's allergies)  than the mere thought of being hurled through the air in a metal tube.

[yelloww]

I thought all of this too. How the general public parents feel right now is our usual feeling....

My BFF is feeling emotionally ill about sending her kids to school tomorrow. I don't have the heart to tell her that this is how I felt pretty much every day for five years of elementary school. I even had an extra insurance policy to cover funeral expenses for ds.

We here have such different lives because our reality is that there is a higher chance that our children could not come home than there probably is for another child not to come home.

I am by no means minimizing what happened. I just find it interesting and tragic that how we have to think and feel about our children not coming home on any given day is now a more public sentiment.

[Mfamom]

glad that I wasn't the only one feeling this way!  Yesterday, I kept thinking wow, you all are afraid to send your kids to school?  REally?!  Welcome to MY world. 
people are venting on facebook that there should be metal detectors, security guards (possibly armed), cameras, locked doors, locked classrooms, to keep evil out.  I kept thinking half of you send evil (my world evil) to school EVERY day!

[tnmom]

Wow!  I've been thinking about posting this exact thing here because I knew you guys would understand.  I can't tell you how many parents said to me, "You never think when you drop your kid off at school in the morning that anything would happen and you wouldn't be picking them up."  I just say, "Yeah,"  but inside I'm thinking "um, yeah, I think that all the time and once i even got to school and my kid was in an ambulance, so....."  However, I know no one else would understand it really and it would seem insensitive or I would just sound like "crazy allergy mom" if I shared that with them.

I know this tragedy is not equal to in any way to food allergies.  Too many children were killed and their families and their community are suffering in ways I can't imagine, but when I get "that" question, I realize how different our daily fears are from other families.  Sigh....

[Mfamom]

but guess what?  the chances of a school enduring a tragedy like this is probably far less than one of our kids having a problem. 
I think elementary schools for allergic kids are battlefields.  where's all the empathy and action when we ask for some safeguards for OUR kids? 
I felt like saying...oh sure, go right ahead and post 2 police cars at each of the 5 schools in our town today....but wont that give a sense of false security?  Afterall, ANYONE can bring a gun, knife, bomb to school in their pocket, purse, backpack etc.