Have your child's food allergies impacted your relationship with your spouse?

[CMdeux]

Please feel free to vote and then add any comments as a guest, if you prefer anonymity. 

[krasota]

Our relationship is only stressed with regard to food allergies when we are dealing with DH's family.  The folks-in-law just don't GET food allergies and do stupid stuff that results in my adamant refusal to let them have DS without a parent present.  They avoid conflict hardcore and that's an issue when trying to stress the importance of LTFA.

Emotional lability as an allergic reaction definitely adds to the stress in these situations.

[GoingNuts]

I'd say it was early on, but DH is on board now. It took him awhile to really understand and pay attention.  He still can be absent minded though (not just about FA's, but in general) and I'm glad we no longer have to rely on him to remember the epi, LOL.

His side of the family is another story however; after a brief time when my MIL seemed to "get it" after seeing DS covered from head to toe in hives from a contact reaction, she's back to being oblivious.

Fortunately DS is old enough now to self advocate, but it really is frustrating.  You'd really think a grandmother would love her grandchild enough to learn about FA's and take it seriously.  But you'd be wrong. 

[booandbrimom]

I love my hubbie more because of food allergies. He's the bomb! 

I don't know how I would have done it all without him.

[twinturbo]

Our families are generally understanding as much as you can without living with extreme sensitivity combo'd with severe reactions. Part of the problem is language barrier when it comes to medical terminology. It's hard to translate anaphylaxis, autoimmune, histamines, threshold, cross contamination, epinephrine. Thus far they've just accepted our limited explanation of allergy and can't eat specific foods though they're most used to seafood allergies in the extended family with large cross contamination thresholds.

My significantly more Americanized side of the family is less on board in the sense they buy into behavior allergies and gluten free as a lifestyle, organic foods are less allergenic, assorted bunk. There's less language barrier with my side but more perceptual defense in place. So while DH and DH's side is more from the old country than me and my side, DH's family actually are more accepting and supportive.

Between DH & I there isn't any additional stress on top of the stress of having kids in general. We wish we could go home (outside the US) more for sure but that's about it. He's a cute and fun guy.

[PurpleCat]

As long as I take care of all the details, we are fine.  DH leaves it all to me and then questions why he doesn't know something!  "you did not tell me".....um, yes, I did, but that isn't the point.

[MandCmama]

Things were bad. Really bad.  After DS2's diagnosis. DH minimized. I maximized.  In laws were horrid. Horrid.
We did couples therapy after I started having panic attacks. It helped with FAs and beyond (DH finally grew a set and told his mommy her beliefs were not our concern, but if she didn't lay off she wouldn't see her grand kids very often). Still need to remind him of these sessions every now and again, but we're mostly on the same page now.

[hezzier]

I think the FA's just adds another layer of stress to the situation.  We'd still be having the same issues without FA's.  Now that DH will have scheduled days off (sort of), we will need to make more of an effort to go on lunch dates (love that we don't have to pay a babysitter).