New boyfriend and kissing

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Nueva Gal:
Hello, I hope someone who has been there has some suggestions for me. My daughter is allergic to peanuts and has a new boyfriend. They have their first real date coming up this weekend. They have been boyfriend and girlfriend at school for a month now. He know she is allergic to peanuts, but that is about all he knows. So there are a few issues here:

1. Does anyone know how long he has to refrain from eating peanuts before they kiss? I know three hours is not enough time. Is 12 hours enough? 24 hours? It is possible that they won`t kiss on the date, but it is better to get this worked out in advance just in case.

2. How to tell him. She feels it is a bit presumptuous to bring up the no peanuts and kissing issue, but if she doesn`t and he kisses her, she could have a reaction. We know he eats pbj, because he started eating lunch with her and her friends. One day he had pbj, but did not eat it because of her. She is not sure if it was because one of her friends told him not to eat it, or he just figured out if she is allergic to pn he should not eat it. Any ideas how to tell him? It would be so much easier if she were an adult. She feels very awkward about it.

3. How to bring up teaching him the epipen. She has taught at least 8 girlfriends, but feels weird teaching him. She is not allowed to go anywhere involving food unless there is someone other than her who is epipen trained, in case she is unable to self administer.

Any ideas?

TIA,
Nueva Gal

PurpleCat:
We we are getting closer to DD dating than I'd like but it is that time in her life. So far she's just had crushes.

She and I have been talking about this one since she was in 3rd grade. DD says she is ready to have the conversation if and when. Of course saying that and doing are two different things. I tell her - it's all yours but if you need support, I am a mere phone call or email away. And of course a lesson here is easy to do too. DD has been showing adults and friends how to use her EPI and explaining her allergies to them so I know she had the ability. There is no easy way to talk kissing and touching but it has to be done.

Will facing a boy mess with her abilities? Could be. Waiting for Auvi-Q to arrive this week. That will help as the trainer can talk! Too bad it can't speak to the kissing issue!

momtoAidenDeclan:
a suggestion I got was for my son to bring it up (he hasn't needed to yet - only 13) at first as, " You know I can't even share your drink, if you've been eating PB!" Rather go right into "kissing"

Good luck!!

starlight:
I've used the line "if you think there's any possibility that you'll want your lips to come anywhere near me that night, please make sure you haven't eaten peanuts that day or our night will end in the hospital." It usually goes over pretty well if you say it with a smile.

Janelle205:
If teaching about the epi makes her nervous, I might go with the 'blame the parents' situation. I had my staff do some things similar when I was a camp director - let them blame certain rules on me.

She could say something like: I feel weird asking you about this, but it is Mom/Dad's rule that I have to be with someone who knows how to do it so... Play it as a combination of 'this is serious' and 'everyone's parents have certain rules'. When I was dating, I told my dates that I knew that if something bad happened they'd probably get nervous, so if they didn't remember, the instructions are on the side of the pen.