New boyfriend and kissing

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GoingNuts:
Welcome Nueva Gal!

I love MomtoAD's suggestion about starting with the drink sharing! Great idea - I've told my son that forever, but never considered using it to segue into the kissing conversation.

I started the kissing conversation with DS back when he was about 10, and kids were already starting to pair off in elementary school (actually, I remember that being a big pairing off age, even back in my day - you know, when dinosaurs roamed the earth). All joking aside, I guess some of it depends on how old your DD is.

I know I read something recently about how long you have to refrain from kissing, but I don't know how long that is. Honestly, since they see each other at school the chances are they will be running into each other spontaneously - he should probably refrain altogether as long as they are a couple.

Possible TMI Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And not that you want to even go there now, but if and when she becomes sexually active, condoms are going to be her best friend in more ways than one. Seriously, those proteins can be passed via semen too, and there is definitely a longer window period than with kissing. Just sayin'.
As for training him on the epi, honestly, that's probably the easiest thing about the whole situation. I like the blame it on the parents scenario, if she really feels awkward about it.

Honestly, I feel so badly for our kids wrt dating. Dating can be so anxiety provoking without this extra layer of awkwardness, KWIM? I know DS's first girlfriend was super-careful, but they had known each other well for about a year before dating. I have no idea what's going on up at college; I can only hope he's using good judgment.

Serenity now, serenity now, serenity now...

krasota:
For me, the allergens are slightly different. For soybean, it's 24 hours for kissing *unless* it's soy lecithin or highly refined soybean oil. Those are 12 hours--if it's just been a few hours, I react.

For other bodily fluids, it's 48-72 hours for me.

With wheat and gluten, it's only a saliva thing for me. I react to DH if it's been less than 6-8 hours. And that's with oats, not wheat proper. Sometimes less is okay if there's been a good toothbrushing and plenty of other stuff to drink, but oats aren't in any way oily, y'know? Peanuts are oily and oils tend to persist, it seems.

My peanut allergy isn't as bad as those two, but we don't really risk it, either. DH doesn't eat peanuts proper. We do wait several hours if he has (refined, not cold-pressed) peanut oil.

The thing is, people metabolize stuff differently. Or sometimes it's a residue thing. Sometimes it has to do with how people absorb proteins in the gut. Not everyone secretes proteins (I do--my kid's reactions via breastmilk were documented). To be safe, I'd probably want a minimum of 12-24 hours for kissing. And there better be flossing/toothbrushing in there.

Macabre:
I thought there was something published in the last two months, but I can't find it. I do find a 2006 study on the remnants of peanut protein in saliva--cited three different ways below.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16950293

Full paper that of that:
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/120/Supplement_3/S118.2.full.pdf

And a summary: http://www.carolinaasthma.com/PDFs/PEANUTPAPER.pdf
In a 2006 study, peanut protein was gone from saliva in 87% of patients after one hour. Unfortunately, in this study it took waiting three hours along with the eating of an additional meal to guarantee that all peanut in saliva would be gone. In this study, brushing teeth or chewing gum helped peanut disappear more quickly in some, but not all, people. Basically, partners of peanut allergic people should not eat peanuts if intimate contact could occur that day.

Irrelevant to this, but wanted to tuck this somewhere until I can find the right place:
http://digitalcommons.unl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1035&context=foodsciefacpub

PurpleCat:
All this necessary discussion and research just for a kiss!

These allergy situations bother me much more than what my DD can not eat. They make what she can not eat seem simple. When she was a baby and toddler it was the relatives that wanted to hug and kiss or have her sit in their lap. Now it's teens who want to hug and kiss and "la la la la la la la la". LOL!

Nueva Gal:
Thank you for these links. The first two say that if it has been a few hours and the person has eaten a non-peanut meal after the peanut meal, then there will be no pn protein in the saliva. But the last link says that pn protein can be in saliva 6 - 18 hours later. 18 hours is a long time! Plus when can one be completely sure that there is no pn protein in saliva? After 19 hours? 24 hours? The article or at least the synopsis in the 3rd link really does not say.

I think that is a good idea for her to tell him that her mom says anyone who goes anywhere with her has to learn the epipen. After all, it is true. I think she does not want to scare him off, though.

Back to the kissing, I wonder if after 24 hours one can be 100% sure that there will be no protein. I know with adults it makes sense for the boyfriend to give up peanuts, but I think it is a little presumptuous for her to ask that for one date. They are in high school. It may or may not turn into something long term.