WWYD re: Birthday Party at Chocolate Factory

[ctmartin]

My 7 yr old daughter is allergic to PN/sesame and has been invited to a birthday party at a chocolate factory!  I know the mother of the little boy meant well when she "assured" me that they could accommodate her and keep her safe, but I wasn't having any of it.  So, I paid a little visit to the place, and it seems that while she could probably safely ATTEND the party, not sure if I would feel comfortable with her consuming anything.

Anyone have any experience with this kind of party, and was it worth it to your child simply to attend, even if they could not eat what everyone else was eating/making?  I'm leaning towards no, but I thought I would check here first to see if anyone had any thoughts or first hand experiences.  Thanks!

[twinturbo]

We have at roughly the same age and type of place. Before parties like that we fill DS1 up with his safe treat food of choice (usually pizza) then bring our own cupcake. Not much advice other than don't go hungry, go full, bring some snacks or piece of cake, and wipe or wash hands often. I usually thank the parents prior to party for the effort to make it safe to attend, state the best way to help is not call attention to DS1 eating his own cake, then write a thank you note by hand and snail mail within two days after. At the party places it's crazy chaos at that age. I'd be surprised if the kids spow down to eat. Even at the parties we throw where all the food is safe for DS1 he barely slows down to eat. Why do that when you can run wild?

Have fun!

[aggiedog]

I think it also depends on your child.  How would your dd feel to be at the party but not eat/taste anything?  If that would make her feel sad, I wouldn't do it.  If she was fine with it, ok with her home cupcake, and just wants to be with friends (assuming the environment is safe), I'd let her go.  Are you planning on being there also, if she does go?

[YouKnowWho]

DS1?  In a heartbeat. 

DS2?  HECK NO!

DS1 is still cautious about new foods at home.  Did you check the label?  Did you check Celiac board?  Did you call?  When eating out it is careful contemplation of the menu and finds what is probably the most boring choice on the menu with a back up.  He makes sure I ask the list of questions, adds his own and asks if I have meds when food is brought.  In his defense, we have had numerous snafus when we have veered from the protocol, usually while vacationing that almost has him scared to travel 

DS2 - Mommy (as you see the brown smudge on his face), what would really happen if I ate that?  This is the child who ate a Hershey's with Almonds bar (Granny had purchased and thought she had hidden) in a cabin with no cell service, phones, etc.  Plus it was a state park so we were locked in just for fun. 

I will say that DS1 would feel more cautious eating after without a thorough decominatation.  He has opted to stay to open gifts, watch kids blow out their cakes and then makes his goodbyes.

[GingerPye]

I think it is worth asking your child.  My kids both would say that they want to go ---- they don't care if they cannot eat the chocolate --- "it's more important to go and have fun with my friends" (as I have taught them ad nauseum and they repeat back to me word-for-word, LOL). 

If your child wants to go ---- Send a safe snack; make sure the parent(s) know how to recognize a reaction and know how to use the epi, or else go along yourself.

[ctmartin]

HI, Everyone,

I know I'm a little late checking back in, but thanks for all of your responses!  I did end up asking my daughter, and she told me she would rather not go (I was leaning that way anyway, but was so relieved to hear it from her.  Oftentimes she takes my lead ... and I know that that won't always be the case, so I will savor it while I can).  The environment was just too risky and, although we rarely pass up an invitation to a birthday party due to my daughter's food allergies, a party that is absolutely FOOD FOCUSED with little else involved, and in an unsafe environment to boot, is too much of a risk for us.  I can't imagine her having much "fun" being there yet standing by and watching (I don't think I would even feel comfortable with her making and not eating these cross contaminated ingredients).  Thanks again for your feedback!!