Do for real allergic people for real eat out on a regular basis because I cannot fathom that? I was cool with Outback and Five Guys before this nut thing. I'm feeling the world closing in a bit. I just had a meeting in DC (I am chair of a Board of a small nonprofit) and was so stressed by the lunch/social aspect
Well, the truth is that it's NEVER without risk, and it's NEVER entirely what it is for people without allergies.
Honestly, we only go to a handful of restaurants without considerable 'ahead-of-time' preparation, including phone calls ahead of time, etc. etc. We go to those few again and again, and all three of us tend to get the same things each time.
Even so, there are generally only 2-5 items on a typical menu that are "okay" for any one of us. That's what I personally find the most aggravating thing. I might LIKE everything on the menu, but get stuck ordering something I'm not wild about, just because it is lower risk. And then other people wonder why I could care less about "dinner out" at a restaurant....
My family has the following allergies distributed among three people:
walnuts
pistachios
cashews
peanuts
soy
shellfish ( crustaceans)
egg
milk (high threshold now, though)
citrus fruits (probably OAS-- cooked is okay)
The soy, citrus fruit, and milk are the only ones that we don't really "worry" about in terms of possible anaphylaxis risk-- it's so improbable given the amounts that would be needed, see.
My DH and DD both have pretty significant OAS-- and it's at times been so bad that we've worried about it being true allergy.
Like you, we've built our lives around hobbies, activities, and friends who DON'T revolve around food-food-food. Still, it comes up fairly often in the context of professional activities, leadership/awards/service, and family...
it's
always stressful, and every situation involves risk-benefit analysis all it's own.