When my child was little I was embarrassed to ask for accommodations anywhere. Embarrassed to carry his food into restaurants. Embarrassed to tell others we couldn't go to their potluck due to his allergies, to ask his preschool for accommodations, to call companies to ask about ingredients in food, etc.
I got over that since then. I treat these things as just matters of fact. People may say or do stupid things in response (usually they do not) and if so it reflects badly on *them*. I'm just dealing with the reality that my child has potentially life threatening FAs and I have to do these things to keep him safe. If someone wants to think I'm crazy or annoying or a bit*h or whatever, that's much better than my child having a reaction so I don't appear crazy or annoying to someone uneducated about FAs.
We have mostly had good experiences eating out because we are super picky. If people don't seem like they know what they are doing we don't eat there.
There is one local place where I ate while nursing DS. I would ask for dairy-free (and free of his other allergens) and was assured they are great with FAs. I got food with cheese sprinkled on it twice! Once they took it back and brushed things off the top! I stopped going and then recently called to see if DS could eat there as they have steak/burgers and he eats that stuff now. The manager told me they could not guarantee it would be 100% allergy-free, etc. This is a bunch of BS. They could certainly make food that was safe for food allergic people if it were a priority for them. It is clearly not and it did make me angry at the time. And I guess I feel a bit ticked off if I think of it now. But we will take our business elsewhere. I focus on the great service we get elsewhere. I tell DS all the time that if he is older and his friends go somewhere other than our usual restaurants he is to just have soda and sit there hungry if necessary. He can carry starburst with him and eat those but just don't take silly chances. I teach him about the research involved in finding safe places to eat. I explain why he can't eat certain things in these places. I hope that by the time he is old enough he will be able to do this all without me.
Do you know about Allergyeats website? Check it out. I think it is a good tool. If you find places that have 5 stars for your allergy set you can feel pretty confident they are going to be good for you and will not embarrass you.
When I go to places that are good with food allergies they already have protocols in place. Our local Moes has staff trained. The manager comes over, changes her gloves and carefully makes DS's food. She gets him special salsa from the back. The manager puts his food directly into his basket rather than passes it down the line as is normally done.
At our favorite sit down place the managers remember us and come up and greet us. They always double check with the chefs to be sure our food will be specially made and they bring it out to us themselves and reassure us it is safe. When we order they write down everything we say--all DS's allergens, to cook DS's food in clean pans with allergy-free oil, with clean utensils, etc.
The pizza places we eat have procedures to make pizza away from cheese, cut the pizza with a clean knife etc.
This is nice. We don't have to ask or teach--these places know what they are doing and so we frequent them.
I hope you can find a bunch of safe places near you where you can eat easily, too.
We are grateful to the places that get it. It is getting easier and easier as more and more people with FAs eat out.
Topic: Feelings/Experiences about Informing resturants about your allergies (Read 8757 times)
