I think that your DS's fruit and veggie restrictions are pretty similar to mine. I can't eat many raw fruits (and the ones I can tend to be expensive, like fresh pineapple) and most raw veggies are out as well. I don't really do salads either, the only leafy green that doesn't make my mouth itchy when raw is spinach.
At our house, we go through a TON of the steam in the bag frozen veggies. I know that some of the flavored varieties have milk in them, but most of them do not. Dsd is not much of a fan of most plain veggies, but as long as I season them pretty heavily, she likes them. We have steamed veggies with almost all of our meals - I throw a bag or box in the microwave and when they are done hit them with a little bit of olive oil and some spices and/or herbs. I have a huge spice collection, and I try to season them to go along with what we are eating. I almost always add garlic and onion powder and black pepper, but also will add italian seasonings if we are having pasta, cumin, cayenne, cilantro when we have Mexican, and so on.
We all really, really like steamed green beans with olive oil, black pepper, Italian seasoning, and Parmesan cheese - maybe you could use nutritional yeast instead of the Parm?
I will throw an extra bag of steamed veggies into almost anything I make. Soup gets an extra bag of mixed veggies in. Pasta sauce gets broccoli, carrots, or a mix of broccoli, cauliflower and carrots chopped finely. Casseroles get a bag of whatever seems like it would go well thrown in.