I guess I'll start ...
---------------------------------------------------
Things that have worked for me:
1. Sitting down with the doc while the form is being filled out, and talking together about any concerns/issues/requests.
2. Asking the doc if they would mind if I wrote up a draft of a letter or if I filled out a form a certain way (which they then sign/date).
3. Being willing to change my mind and be flexible as long as the doc has a good reason for writing a form/letter a certain way.
4. Ask for reasonable stuff.
5. Be considerate of the docs feelings & time.
6. Small polite gestures. For example, somebody here suggested sending a stamped self-addressed envelope if requesting a change.
---------------------------------------------------
Things that have not worked as well:
Talking ahead of time (or even writing my requests on a separate sheet of paper) about a form to be filled out by somebody at the office at a later date.
Being too much of a perfectionist.
Asking too much at once. (some appointments are short and they are often only once a year. With a new doc that didn't know me, I tried to squeeze in too much at once ... too many detailed questions, being too picky with the forms, etc.). Although it wasn't my intention, looking back, I can see how it came across the wrong way.
---------------------------------------------------
Things that have really not worked out.
If I feel a doc is really shutting me out of the process and not giving me a say.
If I feel that a doc is not "hearing" my concerns or is overly dismissive of my perspective.
Ok (cringeworthy moment)... I deserve a big
for this
... really, I must not have been thinking ... NEVER use a red pen if requesting changes to a form and don't request a "correction" to the form. Use soft language.
---------------------------------------------------
Even if you are 100% sure that you are right about an issue and the doc is wrong (I had this happen once - state law would not allow the school to follow the doc's orders as written) - be so extremely diplomatic. If you make it into a battle, even if you're right - you lose.
In the end, good docs & parents want the same thing - for the kids to be safe at school. I have found that most docs have been easy to work with and helpful, but it's important to keep in mind that sometimes personalities and expectations aren't a good fit.
Does anybody else have any tips for working successfully together?