http://www.oakland.edu/view_news.aspx?sid=34&nid=11893I have often wondered-- observing here and also in news stories of youngsters who very tragically are lost to their food allergies-- if there isn't a mechanism at work that causes some kids with nut allergies to be
amazing people--
they are classic overachiever types, a lot of them-- academically, yes (proving to authorities that they are "worth it" for the trouble that allergy restrictions all too often cause) but also
socially. They often seem
beloved-- and also, often there is an undercurrent of some need to be "perfect" in that sense, or at least to NEVER make enemies of anyone ever, for any reason. Don't make waves, be that friend who would do anything for others, etc. etc. The bad news is that kids like this all too often also
won't tell others to alter their behavior around them.
I've seen this already with my DD, who is very much like this young man; she HATES to inconvenience others, and there is often a thread of "but they won't like me if I make my allergy a 'thing' here, so I'll suffer/deal with it/opt out/handle it myself." We could intervene while she was in high school, but we also know that she's weighing the social costs in college quite differently than we would.
It is only with media exposure to stories like this one, though-- that just being AROUND peanut butter cookies was apparently this promising, lovely young man's cause of death-- that the general public (and hey, maybe even family, someday) will learn that NO, it isn't always enough to just "know what you can't eat." That attitude is really deadly, and as popular mythology, it creates a barrier to self-advocacy for adolescents. All the more so when those adolescents, having experienced a lifetime of exclusion or bearing the brunt of adult ire over restrictions, decide that they'll give ANYTHING to not pay that cost anymore. The heartbreaking reality is that the choice is often between the mutually exclusive sets of social acceptance and normalcy, or very basic safety.
I mention that here because I
do think that a lifetime of exclusion and treatment as second-class leads to that kind of adolescent risk-taking. It can kill. It's been a common thread in so many of these stories.
I feel so heartbroken for his friends and family.