You're definitely not insane!!  It sounds like you're just super reactive right now - probably from whatever triggered the initial reaction and now your body is having trouble getting back to normal.  That has happened to me before, but usually my doctor will give me steroids to help.  Since you don't have those, it may take a bit longer and you may need to be super vigilant about triggers (both food and environmental) for a little longer.  I hope you're back to normal soon!

Yes, keep us posted. 

I’d say the asthma flare up is pretty suspicious. 

I’m still not 100% better. I get hungry and I’m not otherwise nauseas, but my tummy still hurts a lot and when I eat it’s pretty much still instant liquid or mostly liquid diarrhea. My chest/esophageal (?) pain has been very bad as well. I’m wondering if I should try some Imodium. Or Benadryl? My doctor doesn’t work on Fridays but I’m seeing a different doctor this morning and I’m going to try and get her opinion. My asthma has been bothering me a bit more this past week too, and it had been under good control for a long while until now, which may be a total coincidence, but I am wondering about that as well. 

I agree that there's a good chance it was reactions.  The second could have been worse because you were primed to react from the first exposure.

When I was a kid, my cross-contact reactions were often delayed gut reactions.  The delay for me was usually 4-8 hours.  I can typically tell the difference between a GI reaction and a bug by the way I feel.  Usually with the GI reactions, I don't feel too bad other than the gut pain, etc. and once it's out of my system I feel pretty fine.  With a bug, I'll usually feel bad somewhere else, too - headache, fever, body aches, etc. and that lasts after the initial vomiting subsides.

TMI
My guess would be that the second one for you was prolonged because you were hyper-sensitive from the first or it's possible you could have contracted a bug on top of the reaction since your GI system was already compromised.

I bet our members would be happy to help you brainstorm specific common denominators to your reactions and ways to eat more safely.

I hope you're feeling better. 

Though I did have a really nasty stomach virus a few months ago. It didn’t affect DH as bad. But for me, it was the first time I’d experienced vomiting in years and years. And the other end—well, it was a nightmare.

It’s just that you had other symptoms that would make me think reaction.

I don’t think it was because both times it was delayed and prolonged, but I don’t know and question if maybe it could have been.

I also don’t want to admit to this series of very bad decisions, so judge if you must, I know how stupid I was and I am angry with myself, but please be gentle because I would prefer not to be reminded 100 times how this was irresponsible on my part.

Scenario 1: went out for lunch with my mother and sister. I was okay while in the restaurant and during the meal. The restaurant does serve my allergens and I knew it was a risk and knew I should have declined the invitation, but I went anyway. The next three days my GI system was a disaster. It was so delayed that I didn’t think it was a reaction and assumed it was a bug or something else.

Scenario 2: went out for dinner at the same place on Sunday. The dinner menu is very different and there wasn’t really anything I could eat. I did eat three steamed pork buns (that I’d had the last time), and some rice noodles with some beef and vegetables. While eating my face got a little bit itchy and my stomach started hurting. I stopped eating and spent some time in the bathroom, iykwim. My face was not red, not flushed, no hives, just slightly itchy. I didn’t think it was a reaction but now I’m wondering if it’s possible that it was. My GI system is a disaster once again. Since Sunday evening I basically can’t eat or drink anything without explosive consequences (literally, ugh). Not even water. Monday was severe diarrhea all day, and I threw up a shocking amount of mucus once in the evening. It was better yesterday morning as long as I didn’t try to eat or drink, but the afternoon/evening was more severe diarrhea which continues today. I don’t know where it is coming from since I’m not eating anything. It’s just the liquid I'm trying to drink to stay hydrated, literally going in one end and out the other. I’m so sorry for these visuals! It sounds like a bug, but I have doubts, too. Both times it has been so severe that my skin ends up raw, burned and bleeding.

I need to figure out how to prevent these episodes or know to treat them if they are allergic in nature. At the moment I have no desire to eat in a restaurant ever again. This happens frequently, especially often if I try to eat out (which I almost always regret), and it happens when I am very careful too. It just seems bizarre that one person would have that many GI bugs in one month, every month. Especially when no one else gets sick.