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If needing a grocery store while there, Crossroads Shopping Center also has the best/largest Safeway in the area. I went to the Pacific Grove location as well as the one off Carmel Valley Rd and both were very small with limited selections.
We like Rio Grill at the Crossroads in Carmel. Another favorite is Little Napoli. If the weather is good we stop by the deli (lots of them in Carmel) and take a picnic to a bench that over looks the ocean. Lots of benches
Kai Lee Creamery was great! We went two days in a row for ice cream and then brought home hand packed pints. They did not have any dairy free flavors available when we were there...not an issue for us. DS had chocolate mousse the first time and triple vanilla the second time. DD had banana chocolate mousse and french toast. I had french toast both times. The flavors we brought home were ginger honey and meyer lemon with raspberries (this one was excellent).
It's a very small place. I would definitely be concerned about x-cont between batches. I tasted DS's chocolate mousse and thought it tasted like it had banana in it. So not sure I'd chance it if allergic to any of the ingredients they use.
I think I just found us a ice cream place. I read on their facebook page that they don't use peanuts, corn, soy, wheat, dyes or preservatives so I sent them a message about tree nuts, the reply back said they only use coconut which is not a problem for us. I also read that they have a couple dairy free/egg free flavors so will need to inquire how much egg is in the regular ice cream for DS, but excited none the less that we have an option.