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•Call the room parent or teacher (whoever is taking the lead on organizing the party) to remind them about your child’s food allergies and discuss how your child can participate in the event equally alongside his/her classmates.
•Reinforce safety rules with your child about not accepting foods that have not been cleared by you or another designated adult.
•Remind your child not to open any Valentine’s Day candies from classmates.
•If it’s not too late, suggest some games and easy crafts that can be done during the party in lieu of eating food in the classroom.
•Work out a plan with your child’s teacher to have students wash their hands and/or use wipes after handling food. Send in extra wipes for the teacher to have on hand for students to use if they eat foods that contain your child’s allergen.
Call the room parent Reinforce safety rules with your child If it’s not too late,Code: [Select]Call the room parent
oh, f***. I was at a planning meeting this week, I don't have a food allergic child in the class, and the uncomfortable silence I got suggesting that maybe "strawberry flavored" sodas being used (sugar anyone?wellness policies?a child with RED FOOD DYE ALLERGIES) in the class (and peanut allergic) might not be a good idea was proof enough talking to "room parents" is a lost cause.
I've been down that road before, with my older son and his allergies, and the principal was present, and I GOT SQUAT. Save for the eye rolls.
I did ask however what would become of candies and um....bakery style trays of cupcakes delivered on valentines day by parents not involved in party planning.
I had to fish it out, but managed to reel in a "they will be sent home". I'll try to clarify if that means in backpacks. ~)
yes and I hate it when the protocol becomes call the allergic kid's parents and check with them. That's where things seem to go south.
Then, it becomes the parents of kids with allergies being the bad guy plus seeming to be "in charge".
They should handle this from nurse to parents or nurse to teacher to parents.
yes and I hate it when the protocol becomes call the allergic kid's parents and check with them. That's where things seem to go south.
Then, it becomes the parents of kids with allergies being the bad guy plus seeming to be "in charge".
They should handle this from nurse to parents or nurse to teacher to parents.
If it’s not too late, suggest some games and easy crafts that can be done during the party in lieu of eating food in the classroom.
Mind-boggling.
For all of the above reasons and probably more. :disappointed:
"It just wouldn't be {fill-in-the-occasion} without...."
without WHAT, exactly?
the need for grief counselors or litigation in the aftermath??
extensive counseling for children to mitigate psychological damage??
Or is it just about the exclusion, embarrassment, and ALIENATION in the moment?
My personal favorite may just be the half-a$$ed statement:QuoteIf it’s not too late, suggest some games and easy crafts that can be done during the party in lieu of eating food in the classroom.
You know, but only if it's "not too late." Yeah, if they've already planned out how to endanger your child without bothering to consult you, best to just let it go... and heaven forbid that you do more than offer any friendly "suggestions" for alternatives. Don't be bossy. Be NICE. Above all, let other people do exactly as they please, even if it means extreme risk or fear for your child and even if it means that you have to do economically crippling things to accomodate them. Yup... if the other classroom parents want to do things that way, why... why aren't you just THERE for the day? What? All day, every day? Of course... if you really cared about your kid and didn't just want everyone else to take on your :problems: for you (oh BARF)... you'd just quit your job so thatyou could take care of your own responsibilities...other parents can do as they damned well please without giving it another thought. Yes, loving and responsible parents, apparently, must.... um.... be the ones homeschooling their children so that nobody else has to interact with them in the first place... since asking schools to please, just... not do stuff that is LIKELY to result in death or permanent injury... yeah, apparently parents are supposed to act as 24/7 watchdogs for this sort of thing. By being present all the time, evidently, ready to simply remove our kids if the risk is too high.
Just in case someone else gets a wild hair to do something that anyone with the IQ of a grapefruit could see was collossally stupid and likely to end in disaster??
AUGHHHHHHHH.... But really, that is the subtext with that statement.
SERIOUSLY??
:rant: :dunce: :paddle:
Bossy or nice hasn't made much difference with the small group who are so into baking at my son's school. They just want what they want and it has nothing to do with me, my son, my son's safety, how nicely or assertively I talk with them or even if they like me or even if they are my friend. They like those cupcakes so very much it is mind boggling. At least once a year since DS started school I have felt like my head would explode over this! I have tried to see things from their point of view but I just can't. One friend I spoke with and told that it feels they think that a cupcake is more important than DS's life said, it isn't that. It is that their image of what they want for their child is more important than my child to them. They aren't thinking about life or death. So, maybe it isn't *as* selfish as it seems. I don't know. I can only hope that I would not be acting that way if roles were reversed. I'm very sorry, Ark.
Bossy or nice hasn't made much difference with the small group who are so into baking at my son's school. They just want what they want and it has nothing to do with me, my son, my son's safety, how nicely or assertively I talk with them or even if they like me or even if they are my friend. They like those cupcakes so very much it is mind boggling. At least once a year since DS started school I have felt like my head would explode over this! I have tried to see things from their point of view but I just can't. One friend I spoke with and told that it feels they think that a cupcake is more important than DS's life said, it isn't that. It is that their image of what they want for their child is more important than my child to them. They aren't thinking about life or death. So, maybe it isn't *as* selfish as it seems. I don't know. I can only hope that I would not be acting that way if roles were reversed. I'm very sorry, Ark.
Really? So what do YOU do with a candy cane?
But haven't you heard? Teachers have no control over the roommom's - it is entirely up to two randomly picked (achoo bs) "ladies" to be in charge. And really, if it is a financial hardship to you to pay your part for the class party AND provide safe treats, then maybe your child should sit out. And then there is the whole well we know your child has allergies but they are so good about them, they don't mind sitting out.
Yeah, but this is the teacher...
I mean, WTF....
Yeah, if lemon bars are just as good, why isn't everybody having them? Hm? :pout:
I happen to agree with you, Maeve.
It's sad that not even the actual death of children gets through to these over-entitled under-occupied parents that promote the junk-food festival inside classrooms, (after all, those are someone else's kids and they don't even know them, so why on earth should it matter), but I think you're right. After all, it isn't their kids who are at risk; it's OURS.
That's some kind of selfish, all right. But it's really and truly the only logical explanation I can come up with that doesn't stretch the bounds of credibility beyond the breaking point. :-[
Yeah, if lemon bars are just as good, why isn't everybody having them? Hm? :pout:
OK...I'm going to put this out there because it's been rattling around in my head since the story about the 7-year-old in Omaha was posted: I don't think food will be pulled from classrooms until the family of an allergic child who is injured sues the school and party planning moms. Personally, if my child required expensive medical care and potentially long-term care in a rehab center because of hypoxia caused by a reaction, I would sue all involved for at least the cost of care. I'm not normally a sue-happy person, but it seems that despite my best due diligence that food that shouldn't be in the classroom shows up. I honestly don't think that until non-FA families realize that their own pocketbooks could be affected because they had to push for crap food to be served in a class, that things won't change. They just don't think they have ;) any liability in the situation.
I happen to agree with you, Maeve.
It's sad that not even the actual death of children gets through to these over-entitled under-occupied parents that promote the junk-food festival inside classrooms, (after all, those are someone else's kids and they don't even know them, so why on earth should it matter), but I think you're right. After all, it isn't their kids who are at risk; it's OURS.
That's some kind of selfish, all right. But it's really and truly the only logical explanation I can come up with that doesn't stretch the bounds of credibility beyond the breaking point. :-[
I couldn't agree with you more. I'm more than positive that if the shoe were on the other foot with these parents that they would be screaming bloody murder for the same accommodations that we fight for.
I happen to agree with you, Maeve.
It's sad that not even the actual death of children gets through to these over-entitled under-occupied parents that promote the junk-food festival inside classrooms, (after all, those are someone else's kids and they don't even know them, so why on earth should it matter), but I think you're right. After all, it isn't their kids who are at risk; it's OURS.
Check out the FAAN "reminders" again. They have changed the first one regarding disclosing to the room mom. :yes: :thumbsup:
Oh crap. im the party mom slash nurse slash mom of a fa child, huh?
OK...I'm going to put this out there because it's been rattling around in my head since the story about the 7-year-old in Omaha was posted: I don't think food will be pulled from classrooms until the family of an allergic child who is injured sues the school and party planning moms. Personally, if my child required expensive medical care and potentially long-term care in a rehab center because of hypoxia caused by a reaction, I would sue all involved for at least the cost of care. I'm not normally a sue-happy person, but it seems that despite my best due diligence that food that shouldn't be in the classroom shows up. I honestly don't think that until non-FA families realize that their own pocketbooks could be affected because they had to push for crap food to be served in a class, that things won't change. They just don't think they have ;) any liability in the situation.
Im the mom slash nurse at the party. ;)
how do you think that makes me feel?
But no....truly (i was jazzing you maeve, you didnt make me feel bad) my motivation is inclusion. as a playdate mom ive always been a bit on the obsessive side people are made to feel welcome and treated with special consideration. my father taught me it was a personal humiliation to be inhospitable or cause a guest distress. call it a Greek. overly friendly thing. Im sick over this party.
im embarrased for the party mom.its shameful.
yes to maeve on once theyve gotten a taste of an inclusive fa party room mom. im pretty much box office poison and while i was pleasantly surprised my request to volunteer was finally taken to task cant for the life of me figure out how i slipped past the powers that be. im going to run the party plans past the school
Nurse just so she is aware of the risk on her shift. ill tell her in person today and remind her eith an email " paper trail".
Code: [Select]Call the room parent
oh, f***. I was at a planning meeting this week, I don't have a food allergic child in the class, and the uncomfortable silence I got suggesting that maybe "strawberry flavored" sodas being used (sugar anyone?wellness policies?a child with RED FOOD DYE ALLERGIES) in the class (and peanut allergic) might not be a good idea was proof enough talking to "room parents" is a lost cause.
I've been down that road before, with my older son and his allergies, and the principal was present, and I GOT SQUAT. Save for the eye rolls.
I did ask however what would become of candies and um....bakery style trays of cupcakes delivered on valentines day by parents not involved in party planning.
I had to fish it out, but managed to reel in a "they will be sent home". I'll try to clarify if that means in backpacks. ~)
I think the main issue I have with that is that they are suggesting that you forgo your child's right to medical privacy for the sake of a) a class party and b) making it easier for the teacher and other parents. I, unfortunately, made that mistake early in my child's educational career and it haunts you in so many ways. It's a shame that FAAN isn't up to snuff on the civil rights and privacy laws protecting school age children.
yes and I hate it when the protocol becomes call the allergic kid's parents and check with them. That's where things seem to go south.
Then, it becomes the parents of kids with allergies being the bad guy plus seeming to be "in charge".
They should handle this from nurse to parents or nurse to teacher to parents.
36 font? You offended *her*? ???
How about being very upfront and just telling her that you would like not only this party but ALL food events to be safe and fully inclusive for all the children in the classroom. You do NOT want ice cream to be served because it leaves out the child with milk allergies and the child with peanut allergies. You would rather all the children have the SAME treat and list a bunch that are allergy-free. Tell them you would be willing to be the one to provide the treat (if that is the case.) Why not ask for what you want very bluntly and directly? I'm not sure that you haven't but reading this thread it doesn't sound like it.
A hard time reading??
Is she seriously thinking that you're going to SWALLOW this explanation?? :rofl:
OH, but it is.
LOL.
Of course, some of those explanations of goals and outcomes and assessment methods stretch the bounds of credibility so far that I have trouble believing that anyone could possibly say them aloud with a straight face...
but they are fulfilling some curriculum objective somewhere, I assure you. :disappointed: Because, see, there isn't any way to stop educators from basically lying through their teeth about it-- and they DO. Regularly.
"Eating M&M's art in class will give children greater familiarity with color identification and the use of novel media in art. The lesson objectives include: 1) improved color awareness, b) improving sensory awareness in the areas of tasting and seeing, and c) mastery of the imaginative process needed to create individual artwork intended only for the artist. These objectives will be measured by informal teacher assessment during the lesson, and by self-reflective activies for the children (they will be creating edible art)."
(and no, I just made that one up, but HONESTLY, I have seen this done so many times that I could do one of these in my sleep and so could most other educators.)
It's delusional.
I agree Youknowhow, and wish someone would write all that into an article that would be able to help convince others see it this way, too. I also do not get why it is seen as OK to leave FA kids out by people I know would NEVER be OK with it if roles were reversed. I don't understand the thought process. I told someone I thought it was that they valued the food more than our children's lives and that person told me it isn't that--it is that they value their idea of what they want for their child over what I want for my child. I don't know.
I agree Youknowhow, and wish someone would write all that into an article that would be able to help convince others see it this way, too. I also do not get why it is seen as OK to leave FA kids out by people I know would NEVER be OK with it if roles were reversed. I don't understand the thought process. I told someone I thought it was that they valued the food more than our children's lives and that person told me it isn't that--it is that they value their idea of what they want for their child over what I want for my child. I don't know.
Uhhh... okay, I understand that isn't an entirely "rational" statement intended to be picked apart logically...
(and I've heard similar things over the years, too, fwiw... so I suspet this is quite a common rationale)
BUT--
What THEY want for their child = FUN! Birthday indulgence! Feeling special-special-special in front of all his/her classmates... warm happy glow of... happiness, let's say (being generous, since I strongly suspect that in at least some cases, it might well be "smug" or "superior" instead, but how ugly is THAT?)
versus what FA moms want, which would be...
I "want" for my child = for my child to not be made:
a) dead,
b) permanently brain-damaged
c) terrified for his/her life while his/her peers and trusted authority figure(s) laugh and have fun by isolating him/her
d) made the butt of jokes or insensitive commentary by everyone in his/her surroundings
I mean, that is the comparison that we are talking about here. It really is. They simply don't even understand that a and b on my list are real, or that those might be "needs" rather than WANTS.
That's why I still view that statement as patently callous and selfish. Sorry, but one person's desire to IMPROVE already good feelings/self-esteem at the price of another child's terror (or actual harm) = 'inhumane and more than a wee bit sociopathic.'
That is truly akin to the kind of thinking that serial killers use about their victims; a disengagement from them as "human" with the same fears, needs, and relevance as the killer's. I think that other parents (cupcake queens, mind) DEHUMANIZE us and our children so that they don't have to feel guilty about what they choose to do anyway.
:misspeak:
I agree Youknowhow, and wish someone would write all that into an article that would be able to help convince others see it this way, too. I also do not get why it is seen as OK to leave FA kids out by people I know would NEVER be OK with it if roles were reversed. I don't understand the thought process. I told someone I thought it was that they valued the food more than our children's lives and that person told me it isn't that--it is that they value their idea of what they want for their child over what I want for my child. I don't know.
no idea how to contact her.
Does that other parent realize that room mothers determined whether or not a food was safe for her child? I'd tell her so at least she knows this is happening.
I posted elsewhere how the party turned out (pretty uneventful), and will try to find the post and transcribe it here. I will say I noted moms reading labels to determine if the Hershey Syrup was okay for a milk allergy. Not sure if that was okay with his parents, no one told me one way or another. Anyways....before I knew it they were squirting Hershey Syrup in his bowl for him to dip his lemon bar in. (He apparently asked for it). The moms started making some comments, faces, and before you knew it the kids at his table (not my daughter) were taunting him with things like "ewwwwwwwwwwww, that's gross", that trickled over to other tables. I put on my stern face and told them NOT it's never nice to make fun of ANYTHING about another student. I got some "oh, were not making fun" and I told them "oh, you are". I told them then, it wasn't being a Bucket Filler. It wasn't "Kind", or "Responsible", or "Respectful". That put an instant stop to it. But really, if it weren't for comments of adults, I don't think it would have started.
Parents pretty much run these room parties, and there is a need to know as far as personal information or plans are.....but if there weren't parties, there wouldn't be a need...