Quote from: Arkadia on February 17, 2012, 07:58:18 AM
I posted elsewhere how the party turned out (pretty uneventful), and will try to find the post and transcribe it here. I will say I noted moms reading labels to determine if the Hershey Syrup was okay for a milk allergy. Not sure if that was okay with his parents, no one told me one way or another. Anyways....before I knew it they were squirting Hershey Syrup in his bowl for him to dip his lemon bar in. (He apparently asked for it). The moms started making some comments, faces, and before you knew it the kids at his table (not my daughter) were taunting him with things like "ewwwwwwwwwwww, that's gross", that trickled over to other tables. I put on my stern face and told them NOT it's never nice to make fun of ANYTHING about another student. I got some "oh, were not making fun" and I told them "oh, you are". I told them then, it wasn't being a Bucket Filler. It wasn't "Kind", or "Responsible", or "Respectful". That put an instant stop to it. But really, if it weren't for comments of adults, I don't think it would have started.
Parents pretty much run these room parties, and there is a need to know as far as personal information or plans are.....but if there weren't parties, there wouldn't be a need...
Quote from: lakeswimr on February 17, 2012, 08:22:10 AMno idea how to contact her.
Does that other parent realize that room mothers determined whether or not a food was safe for her child? I'd tell her so at least she knows this is happening.
Quote from: lakeswimr on February 10, 2012, 12:03:24 PM
I agree Youknowhow, and wish someone would write all that into an article that would be able to help convince others see it this way, too. I also do not get why it is seen as OK to leave FA kids out by people I know would NEVER be OK with it if roles were reversed. I don't understand the thought process. I told someone I thought it was that they valued the food more than our children's lives and that person told me it isn't that--it is that they value their idea of what they want for their child over what I want for my child. I don't know.
Quote from: CMdeux on February 10, 2012, 04:06:48 PMQuote from: lakeswimr on February 10, 2012, 12:03:24 PM
I agree Youknowhow, and wish someone would write all that into an article that would be able to help convince others see it this way, too. I also do not get why it is seen as OK to leave FA kids out by people I know would NEVER be OK with it if roles were reversed. I don't understand the thought process. I told someone I thought it was that they valued the food more than our children's lives and that person told me it isn't that--it is that they value their idea of what they want for their child over what I want for my child. I don't know.
Uhhh... okay, I understand that isn't an entirely "rational" statement intended to be picked apart logically...
(and I've heard similar things over the years, too, fwiw... so I suspet this is quite a common rationale)
BUT--
What THEY want for their child = FUN! Birthday indulgence! Feeling special-special-special in front of all his/her classmates... warm happy glow of... happiness, let's say (being generous, since I strongly suspect that in at least some cases, it might well be "smug" or "superior" instead, but how ugly is THAT?)
versus what FA moms want, which would be...
I "want" for my child = for my child to not be made:
a) dead,
b) permanently brain-damaged
c) terrified for his/her life while his/her peers and trusted authority figure(s) laugh and have fun by isolating him/her
d) made the butt of jokes or insensitive commentary by everyone in his/her surroundings
I mean, that is the comparison that we are talking about here. It really is. They simply don't even understand that a and b on my list are real, or that those might be "needs" rather than WANTS.
That's why I still view that statement as patently callous and selfish. Sorry, but one person's desire to IMPROVE already good feelings/self-esteem at the price of another child's terror (or actual harm) = 'inhumane and more than a wee bit sociopathic.'
That is truly akin to the kind of thinking that serial killers use about their victims; a disengagement from them as "human" with the same fears, needs, and relevance as the killer's. I think that other parents (cupcake queens, mind) DEHUMANIZE us and our children so that they don't have to feel guilty about what they choose to do anyway.
Quote from: lakeswimr on February 10, 2012, 12:03:24 PM
I agree Youknowhow, and wish someone would write all that into an article that would be able to help convince others see it this way, too. I also do not get why it is seen as OK to leave FA kids out by people I know would NEVER be OK with it if roles were reversed. I don't understand the thought process. I told someone I thought it was that they valued the food more than our children's lives and that person told me it isn't that--it is that they value their idea of what they want for their child over what I want for my child. I don't know.
Quote from: CMdeux on February 10, 2012, 10:24:01 AM
OH, but it is.
LOL.
Of course, some of those explanations of goals and outcomes and assessment methods stretch the bounds of credibility so far that I have trouble believing that anyone could possibly say them aloud with a straight face...
but they are fulfilling some curriculum objective somewhere, I assure you.Because, see, there isn't any way to stop educators from basically lying through their teeth about it-- and they DO. Regularly.
"Eating M&M's art in class will give children greater familiarity with color identification and the use of novel media in art. The lesson objectives include: 1) improved color awareness, b) improving sensory awareness in the areas of tasting and seeing, and c) mastery of the imaginative process needed to create individual artwork intended only for the artist. These objectives will be measured by informal teacher assessment during the lesson, and by self-reflective activies for the children (they will be creating edible art)."
(and no, I just made that one up, but HONESTLY, I have seen this done so many times that I could do one of these in my sleep and so could most other educators.)
It's delusional.