Kids fearful of testing

[twinturbo]

Help... please.

We've got Sicherer, we're really close to Mount Sinai, we have great health insurance. Of course right when we align those stars DS1 reaches the developmental milestone of understanding EXACTLY what this entails: SPTs, blood draw and baked egg oral challenge. He's freaking out over it. We've tried the after appointment trips to the Times Square Toys 'R Us for new Lego sets, honestly there's not level of bribery I've not stooped to and trying to explain anything to him hasn't worked. He flat out doesn't want any needles.

The problem is that he hasn't had any real testing for at least two years, almost three. Sicherer was so great and thinks he can really pinpoint a lot of things to make a life quality difference. I want to move on it but don't know how to. Talking isn't working, reassurance isn't working, bribery isn't working, DH is out of ideas, too.

[GingerPye]

Well, for the blood draw we have used Emla cream to numb the area.  Works great.

[AllergyMum]

We have had to tell my son that we understand that he is scared and that it is okay to be scared, but the information in your blood is too important not to have to have taken.

And what we do is him sit on my lap and hold him, while my husband holds his arm tightly then the nurse/tech takes the blood.  He is still very upset but this way the blood is taken quickly and the whole traumatic process is over faster and safer.

Perhaps buy the toy treat and show it to him before the appointment, but hold off giving it to him till after it is all done.

[maeve]

Well, for the blood draw we have used Emla cream to numb the area.  Works great.

We also use EMLA for the blood draw.  Dr. Wood doesn't do SPT testing with DD.  With her baked egg challenge, we bribed her mightily. 

[CMdeux]

Yeah, unfortunately, kids are not always the perfectly rational creatures that we'd like, and this is where the nurturing parenting model fails and the authoritative one wins, hands down.

I mean, this is a health decision.

Do you also ask your child whether or not s/he would "like" to have dental work done?

Wear protective gear when cycling or playing a sport?

Why not? 

Honestly, I know that some kids are TRULY phobic about these things, and I'll say this-- I know JUST how "un-fun" it is to need several orderlies to HOLD DOWN a thirty pound child for a blood draw...

but the bottom line is that a CHILD isn't really capable of informed consent, or I wouldn't need to be her healthcare proxy.  And if she isn't capable of informed CONSENT, then she similarly isn't really capable of informed refusal, either.

That's what she has us for.   

Now, I realize that sounds harsh.  Understand that there IS a loving way of firmly addressing this in a way that still respects your child as a human being.

<on child's level>

"{Name}, I am very sorry that you are afraid, and I understand very well that this isn't enjoyable.  It would be nice to not every have to do things which are scary, uncomfortable, or even painful, but the adults who care for you and love you know that this is necessary.  This is my decision, and while you may not LIKE that decision, it is final.  It will happen whether you want it to or not.  That is not what you control.  What you can control is your own behavior.  IF you can accept that and cooperate with the grown-ups during {procedure}, it will be less awful for everyone.  I have {prize--I made it something that DD HERSELF had coveted} for you if you can control your behavior."

But you have to follow through-- I had to NOT give a prize to DD after she kicked and fought like a thing possessed... just once, and then she understood that I meant it. This (seriously) worked wonders for my daughter.
 After that, it was as if a light-switch had been turned off.  She even placidly tolerated a truly heinous blood draw when she was six (multiple sticks in BOTH arms)...

She had her teeth gritted, to be sure... and kept steely eyes ON ME the entire time, talking to me about her PRIZE (a video game, at the time).

I'm so glad that we handled it that way-- because doing 6 years of immunotherapy would NEVER have happened otherwise, I can tell you.  And that has made SUCH a huge difference in her quality of life.   

[YouKnowWho]

I have two kids on both sides of the fence.

DS2 loves to have his blood drawn - fascinated by it and doesn't flinch.  We don't let him watch the Vampire Diaries or Twilight.  He's not crazy about the SPT but I think he knows that his reward is the blood draw.

DS1 - hates it all.  He hates the SPT, is terrified of the blood draw (and we do other draws throughout the year for Vitamin D levels as well) and when younger, hated the food challenges.  He is a smart kid though and realized the food challenges could mean new things opening up for him.  So that is helpful.  Unfortunately the last challenge was a fail but oddly enough, he realized he liked the taste of eggs (I scrambled them with lots of cheese).  He does ask when we can challenge eggs again because in his world, things will open up 10-fold.  Unfortunately with intentional and accidental exposures, his numbers have gone back  up again so I don't think it's a reality at this point (unless I can convince our dr to do a baked egg challenge).

For DS1, the frequency of testing has helped us tremendously.  Between switching drs and and a dr that was convinced he was allergic to everything known to man, he has had testing done about 10 times - he is only 6.5yo.  But he still doesn't like it.  At least at this point in the game, we can reason with him.   We are getting to the point in the game where testing will slow because nothing is changing and I think that will be more detrimental than testing more often. 

[sarahfran]

Yeah, what CM said.  That has always been our approach: "I know this stinks, but you have to do it.  I'm sorry.  I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it go away, but I can't, and a lot of times we just have to do stuff we don't like to do."  It doesn't reduce the objections (whatever shape they take) but at least in our case, DD tends to understand that the objections won't help so she keeps a lot of it to herself.

The ONLY exception to this is the oral challenge.  We went through one a few years ago with DD and she failed spectacularly, and we pushed the testing beyond where we probably should have stopped (DD reported tingling as soon as the PB hit her tongue, but we didn't see any visible/measureable reaction so we kept on with the testing, with her objecting strenuously the whole time and refusing to open her mouth and fighting us tooth and nail.  We deserved the vomit we were hit with).  I've told DD that I will never make her go through that again--she may decide herself to do it one day, but I will never make her.  We didn't trust her when she spoke up for herself and SHE paid the price for that and it wasn't fair, and it also wasn't consistent with our policy of never making her eat something if she has allergy concerns (I really, really, really want her to trust her own judgement and stick to her guns in spite of pressure from others, and there we were pressuring her to eat something she KNEW she shouldn't eat).  Oddly, this has made it easier to get her to do other things she hates--every flu shot and blood draw since that experience has been so much easier than it used to be, I think because she knows we're serious about the "sorry, but this is something you have to do" and she also knows we aren't totally unreasonable.

Sarah

[CMdeux]

 

Yes-- exactly.  The oral challenge that we've done (egg) and the one that we're about to do (hazelnut) have both been with DD's full consent and cooperation.  But she's 12, too.  Not five or six.

[PurpleCat]

When DD was young, it was the gentle and very good at needles allergy nurses that got DD through the 34 pricks in her arms and blood draws.

Now that she is older, the same nurses are there and even though DD does not like it, she has come to trust them and they do not lie to her.

I also did not sugar coat things for her and admitted that I did not like the same things.  If I know something will hurt, I don't tell her it won't, but I will tell her it is over quickly.  She would say, gee that wasn't so bad.

Of course, that's my kid.  All kids are different. 

[mom2AnH]

there is NO WAY H could tolerate a SPT right now.

His anxiety levels are absolutely THROUGH the roof ...... he very nearly passed out from having blood drawn a few weeks ago.. as in, I had to carry him to the car because he was so ungodly pale white and could hardly walk. He just worked himself into such an anxious fit, that the actual prick for the blood draw nearly did him in.


I won't do anymore testing with him for a while. It's just not worth it, at least, not for now.