Schools need bigger furnitire--so that they can accommodate obese students

[lakeswimr]

CM--I think that sounds similar to how I grew up and long-term it wasn't good for me or my brothers.  We had almost not access to junk food except on rare occasions.  My mother didn't have it in the house.  So, when we did get access to it we would overeat.  We were so conditioned to eat as much of that stuff as fast as we could due to our mother's strict rules.  It didn't work well when we went off to college and had free access to all foods.  I was so thin in my mothers house and would be now, too, because she was a lousy cook and I had almost no access to any candy or sweets or ice cream except a few times a year.  I think we all try to avoid doing what was done to us so with me and DS I try to make treats no big deal.  DS gets them a few times  a week.  He doesn't think of them as forbidden fruit the way I did and doesn't overeat.

DS is thin and I have had to TRY to fatten him up.  It's tricky.  He just isn't very into food and takes after his father's side of the family in that.  The stress when he was too thin was hard and then everyone would say, "oh, he looks so good!  He is nice and thin!" not realizing he was too thin and losing weight--not ever good for kids his age.

I have a friend who gives her kids treats daily but it is like ONE Hershey's kiss after lunch and another after dinner or two Oreos in the afternoon and that's it.  I saw her kids take 4 or 5 cookies each once and she got very upset with them.  They know that treats are things to eat in moderation and I think that will be lasting for her kids.  They have learned moderation, something I didn't learn.  Portion size, moderation, etc are all very important IMO. 

The only difference between my daughter and her friends-- a couple of whom already are overweight-- is that she doesn't eat a lot of junk and NOTHING in a school environment. 

Does she eat fast food?

Sure, occasionally.  VERY occasionally.

Does she eat "junk" food?  Yes, again-- cookies, candy, chips, crackers.  She has a tendency to binge, I might add, so we don't bring a lot of it home in the first place, since Dad also has this 'bingeing' trait.

What she does NOT do is live in a school environment that pushes food-food-food at her all day long.  She does NOT eat and eat at every single youth activity she attends. 

I think that is the secret to her slim physique, honestly.  It's the secret that has most FA kids staying slim even if their peer cohort isn't.  They have built in "willpower" that their peers do not.   

[kouturekat]

Part of the equation in finding out who will eventually be heavy or thin 20-30 years in the future is to look at the parents.  This is NOT foolproof by any means, but it's a gauge.  An indicator so to speak.  I mean, we can say our kids are thin now, but they're paying attention to what we say and do.  Either consciously or subconsciously, they're watching what we do. 

Closely examine the eating habits and activities of the parents.  I've talked about modeling of behaviors.  Do the parents munch mindlessly on junk food in the car?  At school events?  Do they buy junk for their kids at school events?  I once watched a heavy mother give her borderline weight son money to spend on junk food at a band concert.  I watched him eat through at least 1300 calories of junk food in 45 minutes.  Do they munch while watching TV?  Do they allow their kids to open up a big bag of, let's say, chips and eat through the entire bag while it's in their lap.  Are parents sedentary?  Do they lead an active lifestyle?

There's a phrase I use, "If you want a general idea to see what someone is going to look like in the future, look at their same sex parent."  NOT foolproof, of course.  Just a general idea.  When I look at myself and my siblings, who we married, it holds true for ourselves and our spouses.  Look around.   I swear taste buds are genetic too.  How can I explain that no one in my family (my mom, dad, brother, two sisters, and myself) particularly cares for gummy, fruit stuff.  What do we all love?  Popcorn.  We love chocolate too.   My husband's family loves gummy, fruity stuff like gummy bears, Skittles, etc.  My kids, unfortunately, got taste buds for both. 

There are definitely exceptions to this rule, but I find it holds true in a number of cases.  We (as a society) have to change what's in our fridges and pantries.  We have to model portion control, moderation, and activity levels. 

This quote:

“I think sometimes parents may be in denial, because no parent wants to hear negative things about their child, and research has shown parents of obese kids consistently underestimate their risk,” says Michelle Justus, program manager of the Arkansas Center for Health Improvement, which produces the state’s BMI measurement results. “Part of it’s the way our lifestyle is now. The norm is getting more and more overweight, so at first look a child may not seem overweight compared to the other kids in his class.”

from this article:  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3168657/

is part of the problem.  Obesity, or being overweight, is such a tough problem to tackle because it's personal.   BMI reports are in-your-face document for parents of heavy kids.  A wakeup call that some don't want.  I know BMI reports are not accurate in some cases.  But let's face it.  If a child is obviously heavy or obese, the BMI report is probably right on target.  Schools, however, are handing out meaningless reports.  It's like a doctor giving a parent a blood test and saying, "Okay.  Your child has a food allergy" and sending them out the door with no specific plan, no epipen.  (We've been privy to some of those cases, right?)  What good is that?  I'd like to see more voluntary after-school or before-school intervention programs for these kids.  If we can help just one or two kids prevent a lifetime of obesity-related problems, consider the program a success.   Our school has bereavement, drug/alcohol, children of divorce, depression, suicide/anger management groups during lunch periods.  Why not add nutrition/exercise?       

[kouturekat]

If you can't read everything in Tosca's post, read the last line:

http://toscareno.blogspot.com/2011/06/calorie-counting.html

and her post on sugar:

http://toscareno.blogspot.com/2012/01/sugar.html

[lakeswimr]

I think looking at the parents was a good indicator for many in the past but not so much now.  In the 70s and 80s almost no one was overweight.  The people who seemed 'fat' back then would be average or slim by today's standards.  Foods are different now and activity level.  Back then we didn't have so many foods with HFCS, didn't have so many with partially hydrogenated oils, didn't have big boxes of crackers, big bags of chips, big bottles of ketchup, etc.  Portion sizes in restaurants were fairly reasonable.  People had to get off the couch to change channels when I was little even!  And there were huge chunks of the day when there wasn't anything good on tv and no internet, no texting, no cell phones, no facebook.  People were a lot more active as a result.  People eat more and exercise less.  The next generation is going to be even more sedentary than now and have even more access to processed foods, probably.  If we took everyone from now and time traveled back to the 70s almost everyone would lose lots of weight just from the lifestyle change and it wouldn't be a matter of dieting or will power or anything like that. 

[kouturekat]

Yeah, but many of the parents I'm seeing now were kids in the 80's.  Advent of the VCR, video games, etc.  The parents I'm seeing are at least 10-15 years younger than me.  The difference in 10-15 years, in activity levels/activities and foods, is pretty big when you think about it.   I'm one of the "older" parents who had a childhood in a different decade.  We were outside in the 70's.  But when I think about my thin friends from my childhood, when I see them now on FB, most have taken on the shape of their same sex parent.   Nowadays, not only do they take on their parents food habits, but they're taking on their sedentary lifestyle from an early age. 

One food craze stands out in my mind.  The fat-free craze of the late 80's.  Huh?  Fat-free cookies are not health food BTW .  Yet I would see people eating them like crazy because if it's fat-free, it's good for you.  A box and 2500 (or thereabouts) calories later...   Funny how those things go.

[CMdeux]

CM--I think that sounds similar to how I grew up and long-term it wasn't good for me or my brothers.  We had almost not access to junk food except on rare occasions.  My mother didn't have it in the house.  So, when we did get access to it we would overeat.  We were so conditioned to eat as much of that stuff as fast as we could due to our mother's strict rules.  It didn't work well when we went off to college and had free access to all foods.  I was so thin in my mothers house and would be now, too, because she was a lousy cook and I had almost no access to any candy or sweets or ice cream except a few times a year.  I think we all try to avoid doing what was done to us so with me and DS I try to make treats no big deal.  DS gets them a few times  a week.  He doesn't think of them as forbidden fruit the way I did and doesn't overeat.

DS is thin and I have had to TRY to fatten him up.  It's tricky.  He just isn't very into food and takes after his father's side of the family in that.  The stress when he was too thin was hard and then everyone would say, "oh, he looks so good!  He is nice and thin!" not realizing he was too thin and losing weight--not ever good for kids his age.

I have a friend who gives her kids treats daily but it is like ONE Hershey's kiss after lunch and another after dinner or two Oreos in the afternoon and that's it.  I saw her kids take 4 or 5 cookies each once and she got very upset with them.  They know that treats are things to eat in moderation and I think that will be lasting for her kids.  They have learned moderation, something I didn't learn.  Portion size, moderation, etc are all very important IMO. 

The only difference between my daughter and her friends-- a couple of whom already are overweight-- is that she doesn't eat a lot of junk and NOTHING in a school environment. 

Does she eat fast food?

Sure, occasionally.  VERY occasionally.

Does she eat "junk" food?  Yes, again-- cookies, candy, chips, crackers.  She has a tendency to binge, I might add, so we don't bring a lot of it home in the first place, since Dad also has this 'bingeing' trait.

What she does NOT do is live in a school environment that pushes food-food-food at her all day long.  She does NOT eat and eat at every single youth activity she attends. 

I think that is the secret to her slim physique, honestly.  It's the secret that has most FA kids staying slim even if their peer cohort isn't.  They have built in "willpower" that their peers do not.   

That is-- for the record-- not AT ALL how DD lives. 

She has treats quite regularly.  I just don't keep BOXES or large bags of stuff in the house all the time, becuase if I do, DH will "model" bingeing behavior with it.  Him being diabetic, that is a real competing concern, by the way.    I do buy unsafe treats that DH doesn't like so that I can model "moderate" consumption for her. Moderate meaning that a box or tin of candy might last 3 weeks in my hands.

She probably eats food prepared outside the house at least three times a month (pizza, Taco Bell or Burgerville).

Believe me, I am all too well aware of the results of junk food "prohibition" having seen it with my best friend.  The secret is in teaching relating to food in healthy ways.  We DO NOT use food as a reward or a consolation prize.  EVER.

  But it is also true that some people naturally gravitate to candy and potato chips.  I'm not one of them; I'd rather eat cheese and apple slices, really, or popcorn.  My DD?  She most certainly is someone with a MAJOR sweet tooth, just like her dad.  We discuss how much this is going to be a struggle for her all her life-- to make better choices when she might be more naturally inclined to make worse ones instead, I mean.  Her weight isn't all that is at stake, given the strong genetic history of Type II diabetes in her family.  If she doesn't eat right, it won't matter how thin she is.

[lakeswimr]

Sounds like you handle it very well, CM.  I'm trying to not do what my mother did and I'm sure I'm messing him up in other unique ways she didn't do to me but at least I"m not doing what she did! 

[CMdeux]

Yeah-- I think that kids who live with Draconian food police parents probably aren't much better off than those with garbage-gut parents. 

It is much harder when our kids see so very much more prevelant unhealthy USE of food now, though. 

I find it horrifying that sugary, fatty foods are "necessary" after a short amount of moderate physical activity...  just horrifying.  What ever happened to... um... water for hydration (barring extreme temperature or exertion, I mean)....

Because I'm thinking that 16 oz. of Gatorade and a bag of Doritos pretty much more than makes up for half an hour of sporadic activity at 2nd grade soccer practice.   

Nevermind the "smarties" for "smarties" who get an A on a ten minute spelling test. 

When one adds up all that stuff over the course of a year, it's really surreal.  I did the math once over at the old site.  It was absolutely stunning how my guesses for frequency and caloric content added up pretty much PERFECTLY to the average excess weight that kids are carrying around by the end of adolescence.     It's about 12 pounds.  Per kid.

[GingerPye]

I have bought a few candies that DS likes recently --- sure wish DH would stay out of them.  (and he's diabetic) 
I send a small dessert in DS's lunch every day, like a few of the orange circus peanuts candy that is safe for him, one of his favorites.  I pulled the bag out this morning and there are 3 of them left in there, after DS had 3 the day I opened the bag, a few weeks ago. 
*I* didn't eat them.  DD doesn't like them.  DS cannot reach them (I put them up high).  Had to be DH. 

[Arkadia]

my kids lean up over the school year. 

No lie. They probably put on a few pounds over the summer because I get to cook for them more often and they miss fewer meals...i cook goooooood.

That said, I'm continually STUNNED how many kids in Jr. High and HIGHSCHOOL especially, come back to school porked out. Sometimes in just a matter of a month between May and the start of band camp. They lean up fast in those 10-12 hour days marching.

but really, I've seen some of them eat at a buffet. Girls included. 

When the band was serving full service buffet style meals and I was volunteering for them freshman year, my grown son was coming to ME asking if a second hamburger was okay. Or if he could have two hot dogs AND a sloppy joe. 

Why?  because we are VOCAL in our household about PIGGISHNESS. I tell my daughters: 

"If you eat a second ice cream bar you're going to get a FAT a** BUTT. The kids will call you FATTY and you won't fit into all those pretty clothes you LOVE. You'll have to wear a MOO-MOO and gymshoes."

I compliment my older son on his lean body all the time. I tell him how GLAD I am he's not a BIG FAT TALL GUY WITH A HUGE GUT THAT HAS TO WEAR 3XXX flannel shirts and sweat pants in order to clothe himself.  It's one thing to be fat, but when you're tall and fat, you saddle a heart with 400 pounds easily. Your joints get tore up. Plan on double knee replacements at 40.

Kids routinely follow dad and I to the basement gym for a quick 40 minute workout. We have bikes, roller skates, a stairmachine, mini tramp, and a mat.

If I have to.....I pull out my fourth grade fatty picture. 

I had a relatively brief, but fat period due to inactivity, a homebody lifestyle, and parents who took me out to eat regularly with a candybar on top, then home to a science lab and comic books.

When I was 14 or 15, my mother joined a Chicago Health Club with me and the weight came off in three months. To this day, candy bars repulse me. On the otherhand, I swung over to the other end of the spectrum and ended up at 84 lbs and 5'10" for about a year.

But about those second or third hamburgers. I always tell them it's fine, but they have to eat a full serving of vegetables or fruit before they have it. <shrug> Works like a charm. Not only do they eat the fruit or veggies, but they are FULL afterwards. At 6'5" I'm entirely okay with my son having a second portion, but only if he's not going to be sitting on the couch all afternoon, yk? but point is....he's conscious of it. I see him choose Greek Yogurt over ice cream sandwiches. Younger son is a bit of a food fetishist, and will not eat anything with fat globs or that is greasy, but will scarf down fresh catfish by the pound. He's the one that will wait, hungry, if the rest of us are out eating, until he gets home to his favorites, which are generally very healthy. He's a whole wheat bagel, handful of fresh grapes, and um....Last Bald Eagle on the planet type of lunch guy.

I have no doubts he'd savor a Snowy Owl ka-bob.

He's an aristocrat ala Ferris Buehler and The Freshman rolled into one. 

Of all my kids, he's the one most prone to an eating disorder because for him, interest in food isn't driven by hunger, but has to have a catch. A draw. Something spectacular about it. If I love through food with any of my children, it's probably most prevalent with him. I beg sometimes...

My father was Greek, a chef...of COURSE he loved through food. But it wasn't why I got fat for a period.  I think comfort foods are a good thing. I think nourishing a child is the most loving act a mother can do. It's how we are wired. It can't be wrong. A parent sacrificing seconds so their child can have them. Preparing Christmas dinner over the course of a week. Putting that special heart shaped sammie in a lunch. That's not what makes people fat.

SUBSTITUTING THAT for another of life's necessities? For emotional well being? In exchange for some other abuse? Sure. Then you have a problem. But no, I still need hot chicken soup when I'm under the weather. Better if it's homemade. I think NOT having those little acts of love lead to problems.

I remembered  my age when I joined the health club, because when I got that skinny....my period stopped for 18 months...

[Arkadia]

I do think, however, there is something to be said for what type of food you love with. My boys have told me over and over how GLAD they are I cook HEALTHY meals. LOL...my younger son recently went on a tirade about how I'm not like "all those mothers" who send processed fatty GARBAGE in their lunch or...or....."cook Kraft Mac and Cheese, open up mushy canned vegetables and call it dinner".

  His wife better have some culinary skills....

I also don't think substituting food for physical or social activity is a good idea, either. My parents were probably guilty of that, but as they were both older when I was born (almost 41 and 52), I think I'll cut them some slack in that regard.

[Arkadia]

. double post. tried to remember when I joined a health club, edit the age, and quoted by accident. ack.

[Mfamom]

Yeah-- I think that kids who live with Draconian food police parents probably aren't much better off than those with garbage-gut parents. 

It is much harder when our kids see so very much more prevelant unhealthy USE of food now, though. 

I find it horrifying that sugary, fatty foods are "necessary" after a short amount of moderate physical activity...  just horrifying.  What ever happened to... um... water for hydration (barring extreme temperature or exertion, I mean)....

Because I'm thinking that 16 oz. of Gatorade and a bag of Doritos pretty much more than makes up for half an hour of sporadic activity at 2nd grade soccer practice.   

Nevermind the "smarties" for "smarties" who get an A on a ten minute spelling test. 

When one adds up all that stuff over the course of a year, it's really surreal.  I did the math once over at the old site.  It was absolutely stunning how my guesses for frequency and caloric content added up pretty much PERFECTLY to the average excess weight that kids are carrying around by the end of adolescence.     It's about 12 pounds.  Per kid.

bold mine first sentence.  Totally agree!  there is a family in town and the mom is seriously a whack job.  When you first meet her, she'll insert that she has "food allergies" (she does not).  then start going on about food and what is bad for you etc. 
last summer their ds on our baseball team.  The mom and dad got into a fight in public about her weird food issues and how she needs to feed their children REAL food.
Later the dad vented that the kids are starving.  They are so pale OMG, skinny as rails. 
If their ds goes to someone's house for playdate etc, he eats nonstop.  We had a party at my house for  baseball and the dad just chowed for an hour.

She doesn't make meat of any type.  The dad is always complaining saying he'd love a steak once an awhile

[lakeswimr]

Ark, I am the type that if someone had talked to me that way it would have caused me to have an eating disorder.  Kids who tend to OCD probably can't take the 'that will make you fat' talk very well.  My parents focused too much on my weight, told me how good I looked when I was thin, talked about weight a lot and I think that was a large part of why I did have an eating disorder as a teen and at the start of college.  What got me over it was focusing on healthy eating, not weight.  I'd rather be a little overweight and eating-disorder free than thin and have an eating disorder. 

I don't think too many would do well with being told they are going to get fat.  I hope it will work for you.  No one would have know it wasn't working well for me -- I was one of the thinnest girls in highs school, in super good shape from working out and a great athlete.  I stayed relatively thin, although gained a lot in college was still on the thinner side compared to others.  But I was messed up from how I was raised. 

If i had a girl i wouldn't ever tell her she was fat or going to get fat.  I would focus on portion size, healthy eating, healthy habits, exercise, etc. 

[CMdeux]

Definitely, lakeswimr.  We don't demonize food, either.  There really isn't a (safe) food that we consider "bad" to the point that "nobody should ever eat {whatever it is}."

Not even.... pork rinds.   

Personally?  I wouldn't waste the calories.  Or salt.  LOL. 

But gimme cheesecake instead?  Oh-yeah. 

It's the INSTEAD part that is important there.     That's basic awareness and decision-making.

If I choose to eat indulgently while, say, on vacation... I might well compensate for that with extra 10-20 minutes of exercise daily both before and after my vacation, or choose to be active through walking a lot of extra miles sightseeing (which is ususally what we wind up doing).