Ark, I am the type that if someone had talked to me that way it would have caused me to have an eating disorder. Kids who tend to OCD probably can't take the 'that will make you fat' talk very well.
Hmmmm....using that logic, I guess I shouldn't tell my kids that using street drugs can leave them brain damaged, or that diabetes shortens thier lives, or that being "casual" about a their food allergy, not reading labels, or leaving their epi pen at home can KILL them, huh? Might throw them into some disorder.....a depression....feeling put out.
good thing healthcare professionals are under an ethical obligation to be honest with their patients. Someone has to man up and not be the codependent.
Anyways.
My parents focused too much on my weight, told me how good I looked when I was thin, talked about weight a lot and I think that was a large part of why I did have an eating disorder as a teen and at the start of college. What got me over it was focusing on healthy eating, not weight. I'd rather be a little overweight and eating-disorder free than thin and have an eating disorder.
Yeah, well the fatter I got, my parents told me I was beautiful still, and took me to high end women's clothing stores in elementary school to find clothes that fit. Guess what?
It didn't work. Cold hard truth wearing a Danskin and getting preliminary measurements in front of a room full of ADULTS did. I was a blubber butt.
fwiw, My daughter is in kinder and 56 pounds currently. She looks really skinny, though. Still, never had any "failure to thrive" issues... My younger son who has ALWAYS been my "picky eater" (odd nursing habits/odd bottle feeding posture) might shun food even when I'm BEGGING him to eat it. Food is on his terms. Generally, he has to be convinced there is something special about it. Might be a "middle child" thing. In any case, different kids, different strategies. But really, if I've pressed any issues in this thread, it's been that we *DO* stress a healthy food choices and provide them. My kids shop with me all the time. They know they aren't CHEAP choices either. LOL!
I don't think too many would do well with being told they are going to get fat.
Oh, good lord, I hope you aren't serious in your concern. I'm not standing over her with a gag threatening to put a lock on the fridge. I'm telling her a FACT. I'm telling her to eat the clementine instead. LOL! I'm not telling her she's going to get fat. <end sentence> I'm telling her that if she
gorges on foods that are meant as an "occassional" item, you'll get fat. A big butt. She's really never "gorged", but maybe that's because I've been honest with her. She's a smart girl, her typical response is "I'm still hungry, what else can I eat?"<but with more whine and inflection> Or "fine then, give me something else".
they really don't want seconds of that stuff anyway...
If I steam a bag of broccoli after such an encounter, they ALL come sniffing for some. My kids are "weird" that way: I can set them all up with a movie and steamed brocolli (no butter even and they HATE SALT) and it's like popcorn and candy to them. I buy brocolli six bags at a time or that super size multi serving bag at Sam's Club. They prefer a veggie tray without dip even, to pizza bites.
Go figure.
I hope it will work for you.
works better than smiling and saying: SURE!! Have a glass of rootbeer with it too!
I No one would have know it wasn't working well for me -- I was one of the thinnest girls in highs school, in super good shape from working out and a great athlete. I stayed relatively thin, although gained a lot in college was still on the thinner side compared to others. But I was messed up from how I was raised.
I personally believe it takes *real* dysfunction to "mess" up a child. Telling them too much ice cream will make you fat
isn't it. Now...maybe getting your a** handed to you DAILY by your peers, being ostracized, and a principal who tells you "don't you want to be like the
<those little bastards> other kids" might point you in the right direction. But still, a loving family keeps you safely tethered and a safe distance from the cliff.
You have my condolences. My weight might have plummeted, but seeing the fear in the faces of my parents set me straight. I got sick of the nurse riling them up with phone calls about my well being and daily weights she was monitoring on me. They were good parents and didn't need that type of bs. Aside from pregnancy, my weight has been "normal" and pretty stable since.
If i had a girl i wouldn't ever tell her she was fat or going to get fat. I would focus on portion size, healthy eating, healthy habits, exercise, etc.
GOOD GRACIOUS YIKES! How freeking fragile are your kids? (or do you *think* they are) We DO focus on portion size but hey, it doesn't take a
child prodigy to figure out why when you're emphasizing the details. They add those details up and say: If you eat too much you'll get fat! Your heart gets clogged! You'll have to stick needles in your fingers every day!
I need a coffee....you're making my head hurt.
My daughter isn't an idiot. She knows damn well why
I'm on that stair machine. Of course, she prefers a swim in the pool, or mom to take her to the playground, but when I get up at 4 am to push out an hour on it, she knows it's not for "fun".
Guess what? Schools measure their BMI and send them home with a "PASS/FAIL" and an individual PROFILE of their physical ability. Uh, YEAH, they add that up to "maybe I'm too FAT". Overweight. Out of shape. Take your pick.
I generally don't say much about her food choices. My home is LOADED with good ones, available, with a limited number of some pretty darned WORTHLESS CALORIES. I just speak up now and then and hand them the facts. Or praise their good choices. Really, the older two (out of four children) handled it pretty well and as young adults make personal food choices now a nutritionist could admire. They don't need supervision in that regard. Hmmmm...why do YOU think that is? I've already mentioned my boys come home and tell me how GRATEFUL they are we don't eat like some of the kids/families at school they know. That I raised them to know something is inherently WRONG with having a milk shake and fries for lunch on a regular basis. Truthfully, white bread makes them CRINGE. <chuckle>
Call
that an "eating disorder" if you want....